“When you told me you’d been keeping stuff from me, it was like I felt justified in keeping my distance, you know? Like I knew all along we wouldn’t last, so I’d been right to guard myself. Only problem was, I didn’t realize I was already fucking in love with you.”
The words were a bit rough, and she still wasn’t sure what exactly he wanted.
“So, I moped around, congratulating myself for being right and trying to convince myself I wasn’t in love with you. Then someone pointed out I hadn’t been fully truthful with you, and that if I wanted a relationship with no lies, I had to be all in, not have a foot out the door. I wasn’t a good boyfriend. Wasn’t always a good Dom. But I want to be both. If you’ll give me another chance.”
Tears filled her eyes, and she threw herself against him.
He stiffened for a moment then pulled her close, holding her tightly against him.
“Does this mean you forgive me?” he asked.
“Does it mean you forgive me?” she countered.
He put his hand on her shoulders and pushed her back so he could look down into her eyes, sternly. “I do. But there are going to be some changes.”
A shiver ran down her spine at his words. “Yes?”
He looked around him. “You won’t be living here anymore.”
“But—”
He placed a finger over her lips. “Hush. There’s no argument over this. I chose not to look too closely at your living situation because then I would have been forced to take a bigger role than I had. But you aren’t staying here any longer. James is right, it’s a shit hole.”
“Some of us don’t have the money James does.”
He raised his eyebrows. “Most people don’t. I don’t. However, I have a house that is warm and dry. And has a bed that is softer than concrete.”
“You want me to move in with you?”
He was silent for a moment, and she instantly regretted the question.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to—”
“Yes.”
“What?”
“The short answer is yes. I want you to move in with me. I want you totally under my protection, just not when we happen to spend some time together. I want to know you’ll be there when I get home at night. That you’re safe and warm and well and that you’re taking care of yourself, because if you don’t, I will.”
The last sentence was part-promise, part-threat. And the submissive part of her went all gooey. But the other part, the part that said she couldn’t rely on anyone else, prickled.
“I’m not some helpless damsel in distress or a charity case.”
“Didn’t say that,” he said easily. “And if you don’t want to move in with me, I get it. This is a new chapter, and we’re going to both be learning from each other. But I’m going to tell you this now, if you want to stay here, I’m staying with you. At least until I can get a security system installed and a better door, drapes, as well as some smoke detectors. I also need to get someone to discover where that damp smell is originating from. And, if we’re both staying here, number one on the list is a new bed.”
She looked at his stubborn face and tried to push aside her fear of leaning on someone else too much. He wasn’t the only one that had added to the distance between them.
She rubbed her stomach uneasily. He watched the gesture.
“Actually, number one is getting some food into you,” he said. “Didn’t James feed you while you stayed with him.” Was that jealousy in his voice?
“I nearly vomited all over James and then practically collapsed. He carried me up to his apartment because he was worried about me.”
“Worried about you?”
“He’s a good man, Sloan,” she said quietly. She loved Sloan but she still felt the need to defend James. “Maybe he wasn’t always, but can you say you’re the same person you were?”
He was silent, but he was listening at least.