Haven had given her the peace she’d needed to pull herself together. To build up some strength, both mentally and physically. She’d grown a lot these past few months, she’d healed and recuperated. She’d finally managed to feel safe again.
Haven was a special place where women were protected and cherished and basically coddled. Sure, it wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea. But for her, it was like being held in a blanket of safety without being smothered like her parents tended to do. She knew she was watched over, but it was from a distance. It wasn’t stifling or condescending like Curt had been.
She snorted as she remembered him telling her how she was too young for him. Too naïve. How she’d never cope with his dark desires. Unable to suppress her curiosity, she’d asked Cady what he’d meant.
She’d been kind of shocked to hear what he’d been talking about. But not horrified or scared. Bondage and submission weren’t things she’d ever explored but as she’d listened to Cady explain her experiences she’d grown curious—and aroused.
She ordered some lunch and sat at a booth. The lunch rush had been and gone, so it was quieter.
She could see herself tied down on a spanking bench, naked, while Curt did all sorts of delicious and decadent things to her. Yeah, that was something she could picture all too clearly. Too bad it was never going to happen.
When she’d learned there was a BDSM club right here in Haven, she’d decided to do some exploring. So far, she’d done little more than watch but she knew she’d have to take the next step soon, or Joel Saxon, the owner, might give her a nudge. She wasn’t prepared to hand over control to him; that man scared her shitless.
“Wow, that must have been an interesting thought. Everything okay?”
She looked up with a smile at the familiar voice. “Hey, Brye. All good. You stopping to eat?”
“Just ordering a cake for Melody’s birthday tomorrow.” Brye Hanson slipped into the seat across from her. He was the other reason her confidence was growing. Well, the classes he taught. Soon after she’d arrived in town, Jake, Haven’s sheriff had suggested she take the self-defense courses that Brye ran. She didn’t know if he suggested that to all the single women in town but as she’d been considering some sort of self-defense course she’d decided to look into it. She wasn’t exactly fit nor was she confident about having a man touch her, even if it was to show her some moves. However, Brye used his assistant, Melody, for most demonstrations, only touching her when he needed to adjust something. And then, he always asked her permission first.
r /> She nodded. “We’re headed to Dirty Delights this weekend to celebrate.” It surprised her she’d made friends so quickly. She’d have thought most of the women would have already had their own groups of friends. That she’d be an outsider. But Hannah, the receptionist at the clinic, was close to her in age, and they’d soon become friends. She’d introduced her to Melody, Josie, and Carlie.
Brye narrowed his gaze. “Heard about that. There’s a rodeo going on near Freestown this weekend, which means more strangers in town.”
“Won’t they all be staying in Freestown?”
He shook his head. “Not enough accommodation. Some of them like to stay here. Good for the hotel and campground, but it means our women need extra watching.”
She rolled her eyes but had to smile, used to the way the men around here thought. “We’ll be fine. If the bouncers and Darne can’t handle whatever comes up, then Mel is a well-oiled fighting machine, remember?” Darne was one of the bartenders and he was built like a champion boxer, all muscle. But there was a kind heart beneath that rather intimidating exterior.
“She likes to think she is. She’s still only five feet and a hundred pounds. Anyway, I heard Jake has put more deputies on the night shift over the weekend.”
“There you go. Jake is on top of things. Stop fretting.”
He scowled. “I’m a man. I don’t fret.”
Her food arrived, and he took off with a wave. She glanced around as she ate, staring over with a smile as she saw Logan Ferguson pull out a chair for his wife, Savannah, who smiled up at him. The tiny blonde had been through a lot in the last year, having been kidnapped and abused. Savannah’s other husband, Max, walked up then and leaned down to kiss his wife’s cheek. It had been a bit shocking to realize how many women around here had relationships with more than one man. Their marriage wasn’t legal, of course. Savannah wasn’t married to both men but she considered herself to be. Jenna had met Savannah a few times. They shared the same therapist, Molly, who was amazing. She’d helped Savannah through her fear of leaving her house. And she’d done wonders for Jenna, even though all their sessions were done via Skype.
“All good with your meal, honey?” Peggy, the owner of the diner, asked as she came and got her plate.
“Amazing, Peggy, as always.” Jenna smiled up at her.
Peggy looked over as Savannah laughed and slapped Logan on the chest. “Good to see Savannah out and about and looking so happy. And Logan and Max. Been too long since they all looked so relaxed.”
The older woman moved away, and Jenna watched the Fergusons for a bit longer, feeling a little sad as she saw how Logan and Max looked after their wife. She wanted that. Wanted to feel that close to someone. Wanted someone to love and take care of and have the same in return.
She thought of Curt. Recalled the cold look on his face, the slight sneer as he told her she wouldn’t be able to give him what he needed.
His loss.
If he wasn’t so damn closed-minded, he would’ve seen they could’ve had what the Fergusons did. Maybe she hadn’t known anything about BDSM, but if that’s what he needed she would have done whatever she could to give it to him. Instead, he seemed to have some picture of her being an innocent, naïve kid.
She supposed she couldn’t blame him. He probably looked at her and saw that three-year-old kid crying over spilled ice cream. Or maybe he saw a victim. She stiffened at the thought. Maybe he hadn’t been interested because she’d seemed too clingy, too needy. She hadn’t exactly projected confidence or strength. He’d probably thought she was after his protection; she’d always felt safe with Curt.
Now, she had to work on making herself feel safe. This town helped. Her self-defense lessons helped. But there was still a part of her that was scared. She couldn’t sleep without a light on, she still jumped at loud noises and she always made sure she parked as close as she could to buildings when she was out at night.
Maybe he just looked at her and saw Amelia. Not that they’d looked alike. Jenna was short and curvy, while Amelia had been tall and willowy. But perhaps she reminded him of his wife, and maybe he still wasn’t ready to let go.
Jenna sighed. She’d probably never have had the guts to do what she’d done if she hadn’t been so emotional that day. She blushed thinking about what a fool she’d made of herself.