“It was a meth house. Soon as they saw us, they started firing. Rusty pushed me down, covering me. He got hit by two bullets, one was caught by the vest he was wearing, but the other one managed to hit him where he wasn’t protected. There was so much blood. I fired back, but they were on the run once they’d seen they’d shot a cop. I tried to stop the blood flow, I tried to save him.” A sob broke from her throat and he gave in, moving to the sofa and scooping her up into his arms before sitting with her cuddled in his lap. He rocked her, crooning softly under his breath as she dug her face against his chest.
“Sorry,” she said, pulling back after a minute. Although her eyes were filled with tears, none of them had fallen.
“You don’t need to apologize. But, baby, you know that it wasn’t your fault, don’t you? It was the asshole with the gun.”
“If I’d listened to Rusty he’d still be alive.”
“So you think he could have just stood by and listened to a woman being abused? You think the only reason he went in there was because of you?”
She smiled. “You sound like Lucia, his sister. She said pretty much the same thing the other day to me. She was part of the reason I decided to take this job. She told me that Rusty would kick my ass for hiding the way I was and she’s right. He’d be the first person to tell me when I was acting like an idiot. Moira showed me that there were still good people out there, but it was Rusty who taught me to trust.”
And then he’d left her. Fuck. Had everyone she’d ever loved or trusted left her? No wonder she held herself back.
“After he died, I just fell apart. I hated myself. I started to wonder if it was me, you know? If everyone left because of me? My parents, my aunt, Moira and now Rusty. I couldn’t deal with everything, being a cop no longer held any appeal; I couldn’t trust myself with another partner. Rusty’s family buried his body in Austin, so I moved there. I had some money saved up, but I didn’t feel like I deserved nice things, a good place to live. Rusty was dead, it wasn’t right for me to just carry on.”
“So you started living on the streets. You were punishing yourself.”
“I guess.”
“How long ago did he die?”
“Rusty died ten months ago. I was just living day to day. I didn’t want anyone to find me so I changed my last name and I hid. I planned to just stay that way, another anonymous homeless person until Jacey came along. She was so clueless. I told myself to leave it alone, she wasn’t my problem.”
“But you couldn’t. You felt protective of her.”
“I swore after Rusty died that I wasn’t letting anyone else close.”
Because it hurt too much when they left. He understood her so much better now. Christ, it was a miracle she ever took this job, that she’d ever let him close.
“But Jacey doesn’t know when she’s being rejected. She just kept at me until she wore me down. Then suddenly I’ve got a friend, one who’s hounding me to take up a job as her damn nanny. Could you imagine me as a nanny?” She snorted.
“So why did you take me up on the job offer?” he asked.
She was quiet for a long while. “There were a few reasons, but I guess the main one is that I knew Rusty and Moira would be disappointed in me. I’d given up. I figured I didn’t deserve any better, but that wasn’t what either of them would have wanted. They’d have wanted me to fight. None of this has been easy, you know.”
“No, I imagine not. I’m surprised Gray didn’t pick up that you were using a false name. He does background checks on everyone.”
“Ahh, apparently he did. He was keeping it to himself, giving me time to come clean on my own.”
“Damn interfering bastard.” He should have given Hunter a heads up about her past.
“So now you know it all. Do I still have a job?”
He lifted her from his lap, setting her down on the sofa before he stood and paced. “Do you still want to work at Black-Gray?”
He could tell he’d surprised her. She fell silent for a long moment. “At the moment, yes. I’m not sure it’s where I will always want to be, but I feel like I’m just starting to fit in.”
“When you’re given an order next time you’ll obey it. You’re at the bottom of the chain, right now. Yeah, it was the right decision this time, but whoever you’re partnered with is in charge, got me?”
“I understand.”
He grunted. “I know I’m overprotective. I care about you, Cady. I have since the moment I met you.”
“You wanted to fuck me,” she said boldly.
“Yes, but it was more than that. You were so tough on the outside, so ready to jump on the defensive, but I knew there was hurt in there. Tough but vulnerable, it’s a killer combination.”
His sister had been the same way.