“Oh, Julian.” She slipped her arms around his waist, squeezing tightly.
“You’ve both been traumatized. You need to recognize that. There are so many people wanting to help you. I know it’s hard to trust anyone, Julian. I know you want to be everything for Keira, and you are. But you both need some time to heal. At the moment, you’re just getting through each day. Wouldn’t it feel good to let someone else take some of the stress off your shoulders? To be able to let down your guard a little?”
She looked up at Julian, waiting for his reaction. Relief shuddered through her as he nodded. She felt a surge of gratitude for Renard who had done more by just being his normal blunt self than they’d managed during weeks and weeks of therapy.
“But who?” he rumbled. “Who the hell can I trust with Keira’s safety? With her health?”
She noticed he wasn’t saying anything about himself. But, then, maybe all he needed was to take some of this stress and worry off his shoulders. Maybe he didn’t need a Dom to help him. She felt ashamed that she did. That she couldn’t manage it on her own.
“Keira, it takes a strong person to know they need help and ask for it,” Joel told her gently.
Julian wrapped his arm around her, pulling her tightly against him. “Keira is one of the strongest people I know.”
It was nice of him to say it even if she knew it wasn’t true. Weak. She was so weak. Still, she nodded. “I want to be better. I want Julian not to have to worry so much. But I don’t know who we can trust. My instincts have led us down the wrong path too many times for me to trust in myself.”
The weight of both men’s stares felt too much, and she sunk in on herself.
“Keira, what happened wasn’t your fault,” Julian told her.
She wasn’t sure if he was talking about what happened with Cole or what came later. Either way, it didn’t matter because she was certain it was her fault. But she just looked up at Julian and smiled widely.
He winced and looked away. Pain stabbed her in the gut.
“I have an idea of who would suit you. One option is for me to do it. You both trust me, and you live with me, which makes things easier. However, I don’t think either of you would find that prospect desirable.”
Keira shook her head. “It would feel weird.”
“And you’re busy enough as it is,” Julian replied. “You have a family of your own to concentrate on.”
Could he really do this? There wasn’t much he wouldn’t do for Keira, but this might be a step too far. After all, look at how things had turned out last time they’d both let someone close.
“All right, I thought you might feel that way. My next suggestion is Jardin.”
She sucked in a breath. Jardin? She didn’t know him that well, and while he seemed kind and a good man, was she really going to let a stranger tell her what to do? To have say over her mental and physical health?
Could he do a worse job than you’re doing?
Julian’s jaw clenched tightly. Did he not like Jardin? Or would he feel this way about any of Joel’s suggestions?
“I know this is difficult. You don’t know him that well. And I need to talk to him about this first, but, if he says yes, will you consider it? You could spend some time with him and see if he’s someone you could both work with. Please, for me?”
Her eyes widened. Joel wasn’t normally one to ask for something. But she could see the deep worry in his eyes. He really was concerned. She glanced up at Julian, saw him watching the other man intently.
“All right. We’ll meet with him. If he agrees.”
She let out a deep breath. Relief and worry mingled in her gut.
“Keira?” Joel asked.
“I agree with Julian.”
Joel frowned slightly but then he nodded. “All right, I’ll discuss it with him and let you know. Now, next pressing topic. Have either of you got any idea of why the fuck my brother is here?”
9
Fuck this.
He’d had enough of standing around in what he assumed was Joel’s office while Deputy Dickhead watched over him with a scowl on his face.