“Is your current therapist equipped to deal with your PTSD?” he asked. “Did Joel research other therapists?”
“Molly is a great therapist,” Julian said. “She’s also married to Haven’s sheriff and she’s his sub. She knows what she’s doing and we’re comfortable with her. We don’t want to change. It’s not easy for me to talk to someone, especially about this.”
All right. He’d give in on that. He moved, sitting back on the coffee table and crossed his arms over his chest.
“Fine. The therapist stays, once I’ve done some research into her credentials. And I’ll send someone to track Vincento. But the bodyguards—”
“We don’t need bodyguards,” Keira told him. “Julian does a great job of watching over me.”
“I know he does, baby,” he told her gently. “I’ve seen firsthand how well he takes care of you. But the fact that Julian can’t let you out of his sight . . . it’s not healthy. For either of you. Bodyguards might give you more peace of mind.”
They’d give him peace of mind as well.
Julian’s jaw clenched. “If you want to hire a bodyguard for Keira, you can. But if I don’t know them, I won’t be able to trust them.”
Cole sighed. “The bodyguards wouldn’t just be for her.”
“I don’t need protecting.”
Cole leaned forward. “You do. You’re in danger too. And your safety is important.”
“Not as important as Keira’s.”
“Yes, it’s as important as Keira’s,” Cole snapped at him. “I love you just as much as I love her!”
Keira gasped. “You love us?”
He stood and started pacing the room. He ran his fingers through his hair. “Love you? This goes beyond love. What I feel for the two of you, it consumes me. I’ve barely been alive since I pushed you away. All I ever wanted was the two of you. So, yeah, I love you both. I adore you both. I’d lay down my life for both of you. To think that you were hurt and suffering, and I had no clue . . .”
He bent over. Like the pain was too much for him to stand up straight any longer. He tried to control the agonizing hurt of everything he’d done, everything that had happened to them.
Then he felt them surrounding him, touching him, pulling him up. Julian behind him, Keira cuddled into his front.
“We love you too,” Keira told him.
“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” He had to bite back a sob. It was killing him, eating him from the inside out but he couldn’t focus on him right now. They needed him strong. When he was alone, he could break.
Julian kissed the back of his neck. “If it’s not our fault then it’s certainly not yours.”
He half-turne
d so he could see them both, drawing them against him. “Please consider the guards. For my peace of mind if nothing else.”
“We don’t know if he’s looking for us,” Keira said quietly.
But he knew. Somehow, he knew he was. He wouldn’t let them go that easily.
“There was no record of us leaving Colombia, and we’ve left no trail,” Julian told him.
“What about Keira’s job?” Cole asked, his mind sifting through every angle, looking for the weak spots were.
“Off the books,” Keira told him. “Joel pays for everything, so I work for free.”
“What? He doesn’t pay you?” He’d have words with Joel about that.
“We owe him more than the few hours I work can repay.”
“I need to get a job to start repaying him, to get us on our feet, but I can’t leave Keira.”