“You don’t sound very sorry.”
“Don’t I? Maybe you should make sure I’m feeling properly repentant.”
He drew her back, staring down at her. By now, it was too dark to see each other clearly but she could feel how intent he was. “Molly, we don’t have to do any of that.”
She stiffened. “Why? Because I have cancer? I don’t need you to pity me or treat me with kid gloves. Part of the reason I put off telling you everything was because I knew you’d stay with me no matter how you truly felt about me. Because that’s the sort of guy you are. I don’t want you to stay out of loyalty or pity.”
“I am with you because I love you,” he growled, shaking her slightly. “Not because I feel like I should, or because I pity you, damn it.”
“I know,” she said quietly. “And I love you. All of you. I want to live out the rest of my life as normally as possible. And normal for us is you tying me up, spanking me and plugging me, damn it.”
He let out a low chuckle. She soon joined him and, wow, it felt good to laugh.
“I like our normal,” she told him. “I need it and so do you. Don’t treat me like I’m dying, Jake. Please. That is the exact last thing I need or want.”
He pulled her close. “You’re sure?”
“Dude, what does a girl need to do to get a spanking around here?”
“Absolutely nothing, because her Dom says she’s already owed quite a few.”
“What? Why?”
“Um, have you forgotten that you ran off without telling me you were going? That you kept things from me? You got drunk while you were alone and vulnerable, putting yourself in danger. I think I’ll need to spank you every night for at least two weeks.”
“Oh, yes, please.”
He set her onto the sand then stood and brushed himself off before reaching for her. She slipped her hands into his and let him pull her up. Suddenly he bent and swung her up over his shoulder.
“Hey!” She slapped at his ass. “What do you think you’re doing?”
A heavy smack landed on her ass. “Quiet, kitten.” Another smack. “Or do you want someone to come and see what all that noise is about?” Two more smacks landed. “Because an audience won’t make me stop.”
She knew he meant every damn word. Thankfully she was staying in her own little hut set on the beachside, so he didn’t have to walk through a hotel lobby carrying her.
“Where’s the key?” he asked as he reached the sliding door.
Uh-oh. “It’s not locked.”
He stiffened then without a word, reached out and opened the door. Then he very carefully set her on her feet beside the bed before turning and locking the door.
Just the way he moved so carefully made her very aware of how upset he was.
“You want to yell at me, don’t you?” She sat back and ridiculously felt like smiling. Because this felt normal. Right. If he’d treated her like she was ill or fragile she’d have been constantly reminded that she was dying. She didn’t want that, for either of them.
“God damn it, Molly!” He turned, his hands on his hips. “I know you’re a smart woman, what the hell where you thinking? Anyone could have come in here.”
“I was only going out for a few minutes.” She hadn’t wanted to go far in case he came back. “And I wasn’t that far away.”
He pointed a finger at her. “Not the point. From now on, you lock the door. Always. That’s getting you some extra punishment.”
She sighed. “Too bad you haven’t got anything here to punish me with, hmm?”
“Oh, but I do.”
Jake’s emotions were still rioting. He went from elation that she was here, in front of him, smiling at him, about to submit to his discipline to the realization he was going to lose her.
He turned abruptly, using the excuse of having to get his toys from his bag to hide his feelings from her. Normally, he was the king of control. He’d been accused of being stony-faced more than once. But his emotions were just below the surface tonight. He’d had all day to think about the fact that she was dying. He still couldn’t believe it.