She took off, racing to her favorite black cherry tree. There, she collapsed on the ground with a scream, bashing her fists against the ground.
“Why, why, why, why!” she screamed. “Why’d you leave me?”
She loved him so much and it was tearing her apart to have lost him. Why hadn’t she spent more time with him, visited more often, called him, anything?
Warm arms surrounded her and the world tilted dizzily. Tears blurred everything around her, but she made out Gavin’s face. He sat on the ground with her on his lap, rocking her as she screamed and cried.
Finally spent, exhausted, she just lay there, resting against him as he kissed the top of her head.
“Good girl. About time you let it all out,” he told her. “You’ve been so brave for the rest of us, it’s time to let us look after you.”
Lila wiped her face as footsteps came towards them.
“Here, Lila.” Colin held out some tiss
ues to her. She wiped her eyes and blew her nose, feeling a lot better. Trace handed her a glass of water and she sipped it, starting to feel half alive.
“Sorry,” she muttered, her cheeks flooding as she realized she’d totally broken down on them.
“For what?” Colin asked, sitting beside them so he could reach over and grab one of her hands. She felt Trace scoot up behind her. It was a heady feeling, having them surround her like this. A dream come true, but one that would forever remain a fantasy.
“For breaking down like this, I’m not the only one grieving. It was selfish.” She tried to move off Gavin’s lap. But his arms remained steady, not squeezing her, but letting her know that she wasn’t going anywhere until he was ready for her to.
“It was about time you let it all out, sweetheart,” Colin told her. “You’ve been holding your emotions inside, being strong for the rest of us. It’s time to lean on us for a change.”
“For a change?” she snorted. “I’ve been leaning on you guys since I got here. You haven’t let me contribute to the household finances. You’ve barely let me lift a finger. It was my turn to do something for you.”
They went still, silent, and she bit her lip, confused by their furious expressions. Had she said something wrong?
She pulled at Gavin’s arms. “Let me go, Gavin. I’ve got to go pack.”
“Pack?” Gavin asked with a frown. “Where do you think you’re going?”
“Gavin, let me up,” she demanded. Finally, he loosened his hold. As she stood they did as well. With other men she might have felt intimidated as they surrounded her, but she knew they would never hurt her. They’d harm themselves before harming her. That was just the kind of men they were. Men who had honor, who would always protect those weaker than they were.
“Well?” Colin asked. “Where are you planning on going?”
“I need to get back to my apartment before my landlord rents it out to someone else.” If he hasn’t already.
“Your apartment is long gone,” Gavin told her with a piercing look. “We broke your lease and paid the fees. Did you really think we would let you go back there?”
“That place was dangerous, Lila,” Trace added gently, as always trying to be the voice of reason. “It was unsafe and unhealthy. You weren’t taking care of yourself. You need to stay here where we can look after you.”
“But you don’t want me here!” she said with shock.
Trace frowned. “Of course we do. This is your home. Here, people love you and want what’s best for you. I can’t understand why you would want to leave.”
“Because none of you want me! You never wanted me and now that Clay’s dead there is no reason for me to be here!”
She tried to slip between Gavin and Colin, but Gavin grabbed her, holding her in place.
“Sweetheart, what are you talking about?” Colin asked with concern. “What do you mean we don’t want you here?”
“I know it’s true, Colin,” she said staring up into his deep brown eyes. “You don’t have to pretend otherwise. You guys have only put up with me because of Clay. I’ll get out of your way now and you won’t have to worry about me anymore.”
“My God, girl, if you don’t start making sense I’m going to put you over my knee and spank you until I get a straight answer. What the hell makes you think we don’t want you here?” Gavin roared. The other two looked equally furious.
“You couldn’t wait to get rid of me when I finished school. Every time I visited during college, you all did your best to avoid me. You could barely even look at me, none of you. I know you only put up with me because of Clay; I’ve known from the start, when I overheard Trace and Colin.”