“Punishment? Like a spanking?” Betsy gaped at Sunny.
Sunny nodded. “When I’ve done something naughty and I feel guilty, well, after a punishment I feel better. It takes the guilt away and everything is forgiven.” Sunny shrugged. “It might work.”
“You think I should ask to be spanked?”
“It’s up to you, of course.”
She wasn’t sure she could do that. But then could she also live with this guilt inside her?
“I’ll think about it.”
“Those books I was talking about? They’re about age play and BDSM. They don’t have all the answers. Every relationship is different but they helped me feel less alone. Not that I’m alone, I have Duke and the Iron Shadow guys and Jewel. But I don’t have any other Little friends.”
“Who is Jewel?”
“Jewel is awesome. A little scary. Gorgeous. She is kind of like a friend of the Iron Shadows. I’m not sure about how she came to be, she’s never really told me her back-story. She can be a bit intimidating, but she’s fiercely loyal.”
Betsy chewed her lip. “I haven’t got any real friends. If you…I mean…”
“I’d love to be your friend, Betsy,” Sunny said gently. “Seems like we could both use one, huh?”
Betsy gave her a nervous smile. “I’m not sure how good a friend I’ll make, but I’ll try.”
Sunny frowned slightly. “You need to stop being so hard on yourself.”
“I never had friends, not really. Mama had acquaintances from church and I sometimes played with their children, but I could never bring friends home. Mama had high expectations. She didn’t like noise or mess or other children around. Mostly she didn’t like me being around. And then she got sick and I nursed her. Soon after she died, I met Rex and married him. It was always best to keep out of his way. I tried my best to be invisible, to keep the boys safe from him while giving them a childhood. And then after he died, and I went to live with Forrest…” she trailed off.
“You had no choice. You did your best to warn him, it’s more than most people would have.”
It still didn’t feel enough.
“I guess I just don’t know much about being a friend.”
&nb
sp; “Betsy, from what I know of you, you’re brave and loyal and caring. You’ll make an amazing friend.”
She hoped so.
“Do you think…do you think I could get that hug?” She continued on before Sunny could say anything. “I don’t like being touched and yet at the same time, I’m starved for affection.”
And she wanted to try to be normal. To be whole.
Because she wanted to be good enough for Ink. And he deserved the best.
Sunny opened her arms wide and Betsy had to smile at her enthusiasm. She moved forward, into her embrace. The other woman smelled pretty, like coconut. And while her hugs weren’t as good as Ink’s, Betsy didn’t get that creepy crawly feeling she often did when someone touched her.
She drew back, wiping a tear away.
“Are you all right?”
“Yeah. Sorry. I seem to have broken an emotional dam. I haven’t cried in years and now I cry at the drop of a hat.”
“It’s gonna take you a while to adjust to everything, but you have lots of people behind you. Ink, me, Duke, all the guys.”
“I don’t know them.”
“They’re good men. Rough at times. Definitely unrefined. I was married to a man who thought appearances were everything. On the outside, he seemed perfect, but on the inside, he was selfish and shallow. Underneath the tough exterior, they’re all sweeties. But don’t tell them I said that, it will ruin their rep,” she whispered. “I don’t want to hurt their feelings.”