“That’s right. He’s here. I’m here. Just breathe deep. Hold. Let it out slowly. That’s it, love. Relax. We’re here.”
“I should have gone with him, Archer.”
“If you had then you might have died as well.”
Doc flinched. Jesus. Way to just lay it out there, bro.
Archer just sent him a look. Then he turned his calm gaze back to Caley. “Do you think that’s what Dave would have wanted?”
“N-no.”
“I didn’t know Dave but it’s obvious how much you loved him.” Archer lowered his hand to hers.
“I did. I do. He was the best Dom, the best D-daddy.”
“Then I do know he wouldn’t want you to blame yourself for this. You feel guilty for surviving when he’s gone. Those feelings are valid. The what ifs get to us all. But, love, you let it, and the guilt will eat you alive. And I bet that’s not what Dave would have wanted for you. He wouldn’t have wanted you to spend your life thinking about what you could have done differently. Would he?”
“I guess not.”
“If he was here right now, what do you think he would say?” Archer asked.
“Dude, get your hand off my wife,” she said in a gruff voice.
Doc had to grin at that. Would he ever measure up to Dave? Lord knew, he wasn’t perfect. He had his shortcomings. More than a few, really. Could he really compete with a dead man? One who Caley still mourned.
“Dave’s death was a terrible thing,” Archer continued. “It’s all right to miss him. To feel sad. But it’s not okay to spend your time obsessing over what ifs. To not live the rest of your life because you’re punishing yourself for being alive when he isn’t.”
She shuddered. “It’s just so hard to let go. I don’t want to say goodbye.”
“Goodbye doesn’t mean you have to forget him, love. But you should spend more time thinking about good memories rather than focusing on the bad ones.”
She nodded slowly. “I know. I know he wouldn’t want me to keep reliving it over and over. And I was doing better, but tonight…I just lost it. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s all right. No harm done.” Archer smiled at her reassuringly.
She leaned her head against his arm, obviously exhausted. A faint boom of thunder sounded in the distance and she shuddered again.
“She’s exhausted and probably cold. You should get her changed and into bed,” Archer told him quietly. “She needs some rest.”
Doc nodded. He stood and reached down, pulling her into his arms. “Thanks for looking after her, man.”
“Anytime.”
Archer watched the bedroom door close and felt a sharp stab of longing. He examined the feeling, wondering if he was jealous.
There was a bit of that. But most of what he felt was longing. To be in that room with them. Helping to take care of Caley.
Fuck.
It was going to be a long night.
12
Doc carried her into her bedroom.
She was exhausted, emotionally spent. She couldn’t believe she’d acted the way she had with Archer earlier. But she’d been lost in the past. She’d confused Doc with Dave. And she couldn’t go through that again.
Was love worth the risk of losing someone?