She shouldn’t have let Bain into that meeting. Then he wouldn’t have seen how much her family truly didn’t care about her.
All they did was use her.
A sob broke free. No, this was meant to stop her from feeling. She needed to be numb.
“Arianna, stop now.”
A hand reached out towards the treadmill, pressing on the button to slow the speed.
No, no, no. She wasn’t there yet. She wasn’t so completely spent that she couldn’t feel a damn thing. That she could slip into oblivion and sleep.
“No!” She tried to push his hand away. The treadmill slowed.
“Yes.”.
“I don’t. . .I’m not ready to stop.”
“You are ready. Fuck, if I knew you were gonna sneak in here I would have ignored your need for space. What were you thinking? Why didn’t you come to me?”
He stopped the treadmill and lifted her to the floor. Then he drew her close. She tried to pull back. She had to smell something awful. But he didn’t care that she was sweaty and disgusting. He held her tight against his chest, one hand rubbing up and down her back while he rocked her gently.
“I’m sorry.”
“For what? For telling me to leave you alone when clearly you didn’t want that? For breaking a rule and running until you were past exhaustion? For trying to hide from me how you really feel?”
“Ah, well, I guess all of that.”
She wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her weight on him knowing he could easily take it. She thought Bain could take anything. He was strong. Tough. So different from her.
“What are you thinking?”
“I wish I was as strong as you.”
He leaned back and cupped her face between his hands. “The hell are you talking about? You’re stronger than I am.”
“Um. Have you taken a hit on the head or something?”
“Come here. You need to stretch, or you’ll seize up.” He drew her over to the mat. She began stretching out her legs obediently. “And you’re far stronger than me, Ari. Don’t know many people who would face their fears like you do. You hate all the publicity, yet you still do it all.”
“I don’t want to,” she whispered.
She got down on the floor, laying on her back as he helped her stretch her quads and glutes.
“And that’s why you’re fucking strong.”
She shook her head. “I’m sorry for how they treated you before.”
“Don’t apologize for them,” he growled. “Your family is fucked up, angel. They should treat you like the fucking treasure you are, not belittle or hurt you.”
“They’ve been like that for as long as I can remember.” She sat up and took the bottle of water he handed her. “No, that’s not true. When I was a kid, they ignored me. That was far better. I think most of the time they forgot I even existed. Until I became useful to them.”
He sighed and sat next to her.
She ran a finger down the bottle. Her hand shook. She hoped he didn’t notice that.
“You need to drink that. You’re dehydrated. You also need something to eat.”
Drat. Too much to hope he hadn’t seen her shaking.