He stared down at Gigi. Wide, hazel-colored eyes stared back at him from a too-thin face. Despite doing his best to get her to eat over these past few days, she didn’t seem to have gained any weight, which worried him.
She was delicate, fragile, but on the inside, he knew she had a core of strength. She was tougher than she thought. Dealing with her illness while taking care of herself, she had so much to cope with at such a young age. She deserved some pampering and if he’d thought he could have gotten away with it, he would have filled her bed with soft toys.
“You want to be spanked?” he asked gently.
“No. . .yes. . .I don’t know. Can’t you just do it? Do I have to decide?”
“Easy, baby,” he told her. “Calm down.”
She tried to climb from his lap and he let her. She trembled as she stood in front of him and he reached for her, taking hold of her waist. She took a step back, away from his touch. Hurt filled him before he stifled. They were still strangers in a number of ways.
Are you really, though? Haven’t you shared more with her than you have with anyone since Sara?
He still felt a small pang of sadness when he thought of Sara. But he knew he’d done the right thing by her. Keeping her tied to him wouldn’t have been right for either of them. She was better off with Derrick and Jase.
Would you feel the same if you had that sort of relationship with Gigi when it comes time to say goodbye?
No.
Shit. What the hell was that? They hadn’t even started anything and already he didn’t want to let her go.
“You don’t have to be afraid of me, little one. Nothing happens without your consent.”
“I know, that’s just it.” She ran her hand through her hair. “I always have to make the decisions and so often they’ve been the wrong ones. I don’t know if this is right or wrong.”
“Sometimes we can’t know until we try.”
She nodded shakily.
“Why do you think I should spank you?”
“Because I messed up. I made you worry. I was acting selfish, just thinking of myself and not you. You’ve done nothing but try to help me and I feel so bad.”
“Baby, you made a foolish decision but you didn’t do anything so terrible that it doesn’t deserve forgiveness. Yes, you made me worry, but I’m more concerned about how you risked your health than I am about anything I went through.”
“See! Right there, that’s it.”
“What’s it?” he asked.
“You’re such a good guy. You’re kind and patient and you put others first. I’m not like that! I’m selfish and awful.”
“Okay, enough of that.” He pulled her onto his lap, unable to tolerate the distance between them. “I won’t stand to hear you say things like that about yourself, understand? You are none of those things.”
“How do you know? We don’t really know each other.”
“How do you know I’m a good guy?”
She leaned back to give him an incredulous look. “Maybe the way you tracked me down, took me to the hospital, and have been coming in to visit and bring me food for the last five days while I’ve been stuck in jail?”
“I’m not sure that hospital is exactly like jail.”
“Felt like it,” she muttered.
“You make a terrible patient, little girl.”
“I know.”
He placed his hand under her chin. “I don’t like hearing you say bad things about yourself. None of that is true. You made a bad decision, that’s all. That doesn’t make you a terrible person.”