She startled, letting out a small gasp as her door opened. Zeke stood there. “Princess, you okay?”
He reached out and she flinched back. He stilled. “Eden?” his voice was a rasp, disbelief filled it. Along with something else. . .hurt?
Fuck. That was the last thing she wanted.
Go with it. Push him away.
She couldn’t do it, though. It would hurt something inside her. Something she didn’t think she could ever repair.
“Oh God, what am I doing?” She pressed the palms of her hands to her eyes with a pained groan.
“Eden, talk to me. Tell me what’s going on.”
She shook her head with a small sob. Shivers racked her body. She couldn’t go on like this, she felt like she was splintering apart. She was trying to hold it all together. To keep everything from bursting out of her. But she just didn’t know if she had the strength to go on.
“Oh, baby. I’m here. Sh. I’m here.”
She was barely aware of him lifting her, carrying her into the house. She buried her face in his neck, trying to draw breaths into her tight lungs. To calm her ragged breathing. He settled her on his lap, his arms tight around her.
Don’t let go. Don’t ever let go.
“I won’t. I won’t.”
She wasn’t aware she’d spoken out loud. But it didn’t matter. Because right now, she couldn’t be away from him. She needed him. So much.
“I need you too,” he muttered. “That’s what you don’t see. How much I fucking need you.”
“You d-don’t need anyone.” It was absurd. This big, strong alpha male needing her? Her physical limitations aside, she was messed up on the inside. So much so, she didn’t see how she could ever be put back together.
“I do, Eden. And if you just let me, baby, I can help you.”
“I can’t!” She shook her head with another sob. Fuck, what was wrong with her? Everything hurt. It hurt so damn much. Wave after wave of emotion crashed through her.
No. No.
He was clawing at her walls, tearing them down. Damn him.
“You can’t. N-no one can. Damn it, Z-zeke. Why wouldn’t y-you leave me alone?”
Her teeth were chattering. So cold. She was so cold not even his warmth was penetrating the icy layers.
“Because you’re it for me, baby girl. I messed it up for ages. I get that you feel the need to protect yourself, but I’m not here to hurt you.”
“You d-don’t understand.” She wasn’t worried about her. She rubbed at her chest. She couldn’t seem to take a deep breath.
“Easy, princess. You’re panicking. Sh, I’d never hurt you. You have to know that, Eden. I’d never do anything to harm you.” He gently tilted her chin and she stared up at him. His face was slightly blurred and she realized she was crying. Fuck. Shit. She wiped at her eyes.
“I never cry.”
“Why is that?” He brushed back her hair.
She shrugged even though she knew the answer. Crying meant letting go and if that happened then she never knew when she would stop.
“Eden, I can look after you. I will take care of you. But you have to let me in.”
“It’s not that easy!” She was starting to grow mad. Did he think it was as simple as her saying yes to him?
“I get it. But you only have to do it in small steps. Tell me what’s got you so upset.”