“Man, no one eats that shit,” Aleki told him. “They just pretend to so they feel better about themselves, then they chuck it in the garbage when no one is looking. She’s not going to eat that crap.”
“It’s on the list,” Wolfe repeated.
“She doesn’t have to eat all that’s on there.” Aleki peered down at the list and pulled a face. “Tofu? Really? Fuck, man, we’re trying to get her to eat. Giving her the most disgusting food known to man is not the way to do that. What’s wrong with a burger? Or pizza? Maybe a burrito?” His tummy rumbled. “I could go for a burrito now. We never ate that pizza earlier. Plus, I have an emotional stomach. When I’m nervous, I eat.”
Wolfe rolled his eyes. “You’re always eating.”
“Yeah, like I said, an emotional stomach. When I’m mad, I eat. When I’m happy, I eat. When I’m sad, I eat.”
>
“When you breathe, you eat,” Caleb added.
“Exactly. So what’s your plan?” Aleki asked, sharing a look with Caleb. Wolfe’s plans were often brilliant. Mostly outrageous. And sometimes illegal.
“She’s coming with us because we’re going to steal her.”
12
Caleb raised his eyebrows in response to Wolfe’s suggestion. Steal her, huh? Hmm, now that did have possibilities.
“Steal her?” Aleki snapped. “We can’t steal her. That’s kidnapping.”
“We’re Escanaian citizens,” Wolfe pointed out. “It’s within our rights to steal our bride for the twenty-one days of our Marjarsom.”
Marjarsom allowed a stolen bride to get to know her harem better, and they worked on convincing her to truly marry them.
“But she’s not Escanaian,” Aleki protested.
Wolfe shrugged. “A mere technicality.”
“And we’re not in Escana,” Aleki added. “We’re in the US, where that’s considered kidnapping.”
“I didn’t say it was a perfect plan.”
“It’s not even a plan at all,” Aleki countered. “Caleb, talk some sense into him.”
Caleb frowned. “I like it.”
Aleki paused to gape at him. Even Wolfe looked up at him.
“What?” Aleki snapped. “You can’t possibly like it.”
“I do. We could take her back to Escana. She’d have to spend twenty-one days with us, during that time it’s up to us to convince her we’re meant to be together. At the end of that period, she can leave or not.”
“And if she has us arrested? If she tells the princes?” Aleki snapped.
“Bride stealing is a sacred tradition,” Wolfe reminded Aleki. “They won’t interfere.”
“They will if it creates an international scandal,” Aleki countered.
“If she didn’t have feelings for us, if she didn’t actually want to come with us, then I’d agree. But she’s holding back. She’s trying to protect us. And that’s unacceptable,” Caleb said. “She’s exhausted. And I think what she really wants is some help. She just doesn’t know how to ask. Or think she can ask. So we take the choice away from her.”
Aleki shook his head. “You’ve both gone mad.”
“I don’t think we have,” Caleb mused. “I am surprised you came up with the idea, Wolfe. What if she decides to stay with us? To be with all three of us? You know the rules.”
“She becomes our wife,” Wolfe said.