“I had a feeling I’d find you here.”
The sound of my father’s voice makes my heart stop. I’d been so focused on gathering my things, I never heard him come in. Taking a deep breath, I turn and face the man I’ve always been told I look like. The man I’ve always wanted to make proud. “I thought you’d still be at the party.”
“Did you intend to leave without saying goodbye?”
The bag in my hand feels impossibly heavy. “I don’t know.” The truth of the words makes the shame inside me grow.
My father nods. “I know you wanted to be selected for The Testing, but I’m relieved you weren’t. Especially after seeing you now.” He points to my packed bag. “Your passion is one of your greatest assets even as it is your biggest flaw. You always lead with emotion and think through the consequences later. It’s the reason you’d never have survived The Testing.”
Anger flares hot and deep in my stomach. “I know how to take a test. I would have passed.”
“The Testing is about more than the right answers. A great deal more.”
“How would I know what The Testing is about?” I throw the bag to the floor. “You never talk about it. It might have helped me get selected if you had, but never once did you tell me what The Testing was like.”
“That’s because I can’t.” My father runs a hand through his hair. The hurt in his eyes drains away, leaving sadness and something more haunting behind. “The United Commonwealth has procedures in place to ensure that successful candidates can never reveal their Testing experience. But I can tell you this—the Testing doesn’t always reward the smartest or the fastest to finish the test. Unlike you, I was not at the top of my colony’s class. There were candidates smarter than me who walked through The Testing Center’s doors. Whatever happened inside was too much for them. They never walked out.”
My father’s admission that he wasn’t the smartest of his class surprises me. I always assumed he was. Now I am forced to wonder what else about my life is not as it seems.
“Look,” my father continues. “I understand you’re disappointed, but leaving Five Lakes isn’t the answer. At least not today.”
I cock my head to the side. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Dad’s eyes meet mine. “There are things outside the safety of Five Lakes Colony that you don’t understand. That you aren’t prepared to deal with. You’ve only seen glimpses of the damaged world that exists out there.”
“Whose fault is that?” Frustration storms through me and punches through my words.
“Mine.” My father shouts back. “I take responsibility for keeping you sheltered, and I will not apologize for making choices that have kept my children safe. There is more than poisoned water, rabid animals, and a lack of food waiting outside Five Lakes.”
“Like what?”
“Promise you won’t run off in anger. That you’ll stay in Five Lakes and let me help prepare you for what exists beyond our colony’s borders. If in a couple years you still want to leave, I swear I won’t stand in your way.” Before I can answer, he adds, “Don’t give me your answer now. Sleep on it. The world will still be waiting tomorrow.”
With that he’s gone, taking my anger with him. All that remains in its place is the weary ache of misery.
Stay home and hope to find answers?
Leave and on my own discover the secrets my father hints at?
Fatigue jumbles my thoughts together. My head pounds. Bitterness churns my stomach as I try to focus. When I can’t, I am forced to admit Dad is right. I cannot make the decision now. Tomorrow. Tomorrow I’ll be rested. If I choose to, tomorrow is soon enough to leave.
My brothers are still sleeping when I wake and carefully slide out of bed. Cia’s bed is empty. Not a surprise, since Win is snoring. Carefully, I slip out of the room and smile as I spot the tiny body curled up in front of the fireplace. In that moment, my choice to leave or stay is made. While I love my parents and brothers, Cia is special. I’m the one she comes to when she’s worried or confused. She’s the one person I know needs me. So for now, I will stay, and learn what Dad has to teach. Once Cia is older and Dad has shared what secrets he knows . . .
Who knows.
I’m so focused on my own problems that I barely notice the booklet clutched in Cia’s hand. The same booklet I studied yesterday morning. Cia must have found it on the floor in our bedroom.
Careful to step around the floorboards that squeak, I cross to where Cia is sleeping. When I reach to take the booklet from her hands I notice how tightly she holds it. As if it is as important to her as it was to me.
So, instead of retrieving it, I go in search of my father to tell him that I will stay, and leave the study guide clutched tight in my sister’s hands. After all, what harm could encouraging her dreams do?
Malencia Vale
TEST 1 - HISTORY
Authorized by THE TESTING
for