She loved and trusted him wholeheartedly. It didn’t matter that he was less than the knight in shining armor she imagined him to be. It didn’t matter to her that her best friend was going off on protection runs for the damn mafia, running drugs and pussy from one coast to the other. Not that she knew he was doing that—and a hundred other things that could get his ass locked up for the rest of his life if he ever got caught.
I knew what he did. I wasn’t a fucking idiot. I knew Vito Vitucci was their boss, and everyone who knew who Vitucci was knew exactly what kind of businesses he ran. If I’d wanted to—really wanted to—I could have made up shit to tell the DA about the MC, and it probably wouldn’t have been far off the mark.
If I’d wanted to.
Too fucking bad I’d fallen for the guy I swore I wouldn’t.
Colt was still sleeping when I grabbed my jacket and boots. Telling myself not to, I still paused at the door and glanced back. The ink on his back were faint markings in the dimness coming from the bathroom light I’d left on, but I knew each and every one of them. Had spent hours tracing my fingers over every tattoo, falling hard for the masterpiece that was his body.
He looked peaceful with his face pressed into the pillow, snoring slightly. Tears filled my eyes, but I angrily blinked them back, refusing to allow them to fall. He didn’t deserve my tears or my love. Maybe I thought he did at one point, but that was before I woke up cuffed to a fucking bed I had no memory of being strapped to.
Straightening my shoulders, I hardened my heart, putting up all the walls it had taken an eternity for him to knock down. All it had proved to me was that I really couldn’t rely on anyone but myself.
Shaking my head at my own idiocy, I shut the door quietly and walked down the hall.
There were more people with working brain cells walking around now. The sleeping bags were gone for the moment, and people were sitting around talking and eating. A glance at my phone told me it was just after eight at night. I couldn’t honestly say how long I’d slept, but I felt better than I had when we first got there that morning, despite my aching body.
I could smell food coming from the kitchen along with the sound of female voices I would have rather avoided, but I was freaking starving. I deserved at least a sandwich before I hit the road. Ignoring the looks the sheep shot me, as well as the dirtier looks coming from some of the MC brothers, I walked through the main room and pushed open the swinging kitchen door.
The room was in organized chaos as women moved around from the stove to the island, set up with platters of freshly made food. Ol’ ladies were busy making their men plates of food, but I pushed in and grabbed a yeasty dinner roll. Opening it, I slapped on a scoop of mashed potatoes, roast beef, and a few green beans.
Taking a hungry bite, I opened the back door, my keys already out so I could unlock my car and get the fuck out of there. The parking lot at the back of the compound was lit with three streetlights, giving the area plenty of illumination. It was the best spot I could find for my car when the MC first forced the stupid lockdown. I figured no one would bother my shit if it was over there away from prying eyes. I heard people talking but didn’t bother to see who was sitting at the picnic tables as I headed for my car.
“Hey, Kelli!”
Hearing Quinn’s sweet voice gave me pause, but after the initial falter in my step, I kept walking. I couldn’t do this. Not now, maybe not ever. I loved that girl more than I’d ever loved anyone, including Colt Hannigan. She became my family when I hadn’t realized I wanted or even needed one. Of course I needed her. Every damn person on the planet needed someone, and Quinn became that someon
e for me.
But I couldn’t let her stay mine. I had to walk away while I still could.
In my gut, I knew it was what was right. But with each step I took that brought me closer to my car and away from her, my soul ached a little more.
“Where you heading?”
I nearly choked on the food in my mouth when I heard the new voice. My keys and phone fell at my feet as I coughed the food free of my throat and shot a cautious glare at the queen of the Angel’s Halo MC. In a fight, I knew we would be evenly matched, but I seriously didn’t want to fight her. She fought dirty, and I wasn’t even sure I could outmatch the tricks she had up her sleeve.
Raven walked out from behind my car just as I bent to pick up my things. “I’m leaving,” I told her honestly. “Like I told your husband I would.”
She leaned back against the side of my car, blocking the driver’s door as she crossed her legs at the ankles and pushed the tips of her fingers into her front jeans pockets. Dark blond brows lifted as she watched me like a predator assessing its prey. “How was the hangover?” she taunted with an evil lift of her lips.
I clenched my jaw and tossed the rest of my roll aside, knowing I wouldn’t be able to stomach it after the reminder of what Colt did to me. “You got lucky. A little more of that shit and it probably would have killed me.”
“Nah,” she said with a casual shrug, as if she hadn’t been worried about it—or my possible death—in the slightest. “I got my math right. I gave him just enough to keep you out for a while so he could figure out if he really could off you if he needed to.”
A shiver went down my spine, but I didn’t let her see my reaction. “There wasn’t any need to go to those extremes. I would have given him, and you, everything I had if you’d just asked.”
“Sure. I believe that.” She smirked up at me, but I wasn’t blind to the dangerous sparks flashing in those green eyes so much like her brothers’. “Actually, I really do believe that. Oddly enough, I trust you. Which was what I told Bash earlier.”
“Aw, how sweet. I got a new bestie.” Rolling my eyes, I nudged her out of my way. “Too bad you weren’t there when I needed that vote of confidence with your brother.”
“Colt is the softest of my brothers when it comes to people he cares about,” she confided. “He’s also the most ruthless when he has to be. He did what he had to so he could prove to his brothers they could trust him where you are concerned.”
“Maybe you’re okay with your man picking his MC over you, but just once, I would really love it for someone to put me first,” I found myself confessing. Gritting my teeth, hating myself for revealing that much to this female, I pressed the unlock button on my key fob and opened the door.
Before I could get in, however, Raven blocked my way again. “You can’t go,” she announced.
“And why is that?” I snapped, ready to grab her by her long blond hair and jerk her out of my way. I just wanted to get away from here. Away from the people who made my heart do stupid shit, like love them.