I was so shocked by everything that I didn’t even catch his small hesitation. I gaped from one man to the other, not sure I even believed the craziness that had become my brain. “Are you my father?” I didn’t mean to yell, but my voice wasn’t cooperating with my brain and it came out louder and harsher than I’d anticipated.
Trigger flinched as if I’d hit him. “I wasn’t completely sure, sweetheart. Not until I found out your blood type…in the hospital back in Connecticut.”
Everything inside of me froze. I had a pretty rare blood type, but I hadn’t ever questioned it.
“After looking at Craig Morgan’s medical records Doc Robertson said he was plain old O positive. With your blood type, there is no way you could have been his daughter.”
I stumbled back, the shock of his confession acting like an electric force and pushing me off balance. All my life I’d hated that I shared DNA with Craig Morgan—with any Morgan, really. I’d seen firsthand how evil they all were and had prayed every night before I fell asleep that I had more of my mother in me than Morgan. That I wouldn’t ever turn into one of those vile people who were either wife-beaters or wives that sat and took it for what the Morgan name could offer them. After my mother’s death, the mere thought of sharing the same genetics with the man who was responsible for her death had sickened me.
Now, to find out that I didn’t, that no part of the Morgan evilness was a part of me, I was beyond relieved.
Tears burned my eyes and I moved back until my hands touched the wall before slowly sliding to the floor. Drawing my knees up to my chest, I pressed my forehead to my legs and closed my eyes. I wanted Hawk so bad, needed him there to ground me, to tell me that I wasn’t dreaming.
That I really didn’t share one single gene with the Morgans.
As if I had conjured him from thin air, I heard the door to the garage office open and suddenly he was kneeling beside me. His strong, warm hand touched my tear dampened cheek and I lifted my head as a sob left me. The sob was mixed with a laugh that was so full of relief I knew I must have sounded crazy.
“Baby?” His voice was full of concern and I quickly dashed away the tears as they poured down my face.
“A-all my life…” I couldn’t contain another maniacal-sounding laugh as it left me. “All my life I hated him, and me by association. I despised myself for sharing the same gene pool as him. When…when my mom died, I blamed myself because I thought his blood ran through my veins.”
His green eyes darkened. “Gracie—”
“Do you realize how relieved I am, Hawk? Do you?” Another sob bubbled up, thankfully pushing down the laughter that was starting to scare me. “It’s like having the weight of the world on your back and suddenly someone has lifted it off you. He wasn’t my father. He wasn’t. I…I don’t have to hate…myself anymore. I don’t have to…blame myself.”
He didn’t say another word, but wrapped me up in his arms, holding me safe against his chest. The relief felt so good, so amazingly good and freeing.
Hawk held me for a long time, well after my tears had dried up and the crazy laughter that had begun
to scare me had faded. Slowly I realized that Jack and Trigger were still in the office with us and I lifted my head. My gaze went straight to Trigger.
So this was my real father. The man who had helped my mother give me life. For the life of me I couldn’t understand what my mother had been thinking to not have told him, but knowing Shannon I knew that there had to have been a good reason.
Trigger was a good man; I knew that deep in my soul. If I were honest, I would admit that I’d always felt something special for Trigger, but had never understood why. Maybe, deep down, a part of me had sensed the truth. Now, as I looked at him, I tried to find similarities between myself and the man who was my father.
At first glance I couldn’t see any. I looked a lot like my mother and even Jack, but after a few minutes of staring at him, I realized that we had the same chin, the same ears. The way his nose was flaring with his harsh breathing reminded me of myself when I got mad at Hawk or school and work got to be too much for me and I needed to let off steam.
Maybe I should have been angry that Trigger was dropping this on me now, but I couldn’t hold that against him. He hadn’t known I existed, my mother hadn’t let him know, so that was on her, not him. Maybe I shouldn’t have felt a euphoric kind of peace at his news, but I did nonetheless.
Okay, so maybe I wasn’t going to jump up and throw my arms around him and start calling him ‘Daddy’ but that didn’t mean I was going to count him out. Trigger wasn’t a monster like Craig Morgan. I knew and loved him already and he was all I had left in the world except for Jack. After having lost my mother, I knew I’d been given a second chance at parental love with Trigger.
The way he was looking down at me right then, his eyes tormented, his jaw tense, I could see that I really did have that parent to cherish again. I thought back on the last month. The way Trigger had taken care of me until Hawk had shown up at Charles Morgan’s house, his gentle touch as he tried to reassure me everything was going to be okay. How he’d stayed in the hospital with me and Hawk night and day until the doctors had said that the antibiotics were working and I was going to be okay.
It all made sense now. All of it. He must have known then, or at least suspected.
“Baby, are you okay?” Hawk murmured against my neck where he had been softly kissing me as if he couldn’t help himself.
I didn’t answer as I got unsteadily to my feet. Hawk’s strong hands were there to hold my hips to help me, just as I knew they would be. He had my complete trust, always. Once I knew I wouldn’t fall on my face, I pulled away from his hold and crossed the room toward Trigger.
The closer I got, the whiter his face turned and I thought I saw tears in his eyes, but he quickly blinked them back and I wasn’t even sure that was what had been in them. With trembling fingers, I lifted my hands and touched his chin, rough with at least two days’ worth of scruff. Without realizing it, my head tilted to the right as I studied him and I saw other similarities that I’d never realized we shared.
No one spoke as I contemplated the man who had once seemed like a big, scary biker to me. Now he just looked like a big—and yes, still scary—papa bear, and that melted my heart. I offered him a small but warm smile. “I’m not going to start calling you Daddy anytime soon, but…I’m really glad you’re my father.”
Trigger let out a long, hard breath and it was only then that I realized he’d been holding it. His jaw unclenched and he stepped closer only to pause. “Can…I hug you?”
My answer was to throw my arms around his neck and hold on tight.
Chapter Eighteen