I must have fallen asleep on the couch, because the next thing I knew, Shaw was standing over me with her hands on her hips and a deep scowl on her face.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” she snarled.
“Fuck,” I groaned and sat up. “What time is it?”
“A little after six.”
“In the morning?” I jumped to my feet and picked up my phone from the coffee table. The coffee mugs and tray were gone, so I figured the housekeeper had taken everything to the kitchen. Seeing it was 6:10 in the morning, I headed for the stairs, needing to check on Violet.
Shaw followed close on my heels. “What are you doing here, Luca?” she hissed behind me. “She just lost her husband. The last thing she needs right now is for you to be here messing with her head.”
“I’ve already explained myself twice,” I growled at her over my shoulder. “I’m not really in the mood to do it again. Maybe later.” Seeing Jenner was still standing outside the guest room door, I relaxed a little.
“She’s been sleeping soundly,” he informed me. “Krush hasn’t left her once.”
“Good.” I glanced at Shaw then blew out a frustrated sigh. “Go to bed, Jenner. The funeral is tomorrow, and I don’t know how crazy things will be.”
He inclined his head, and Shaw just stood there with her mouth hanging open as he did as I instructed. Ignoring her, I pushed the bedroom door open and crossed to the bed to check on Violet.
Krush lifted his head and grunted at me as I reached them. “Shh,” I ordered and bent to check on Violet without turning on the lamp. Her eyes were still closed, but I could tell from her breathing that she wasn’t asleep. I kissed her cheek, and she lifted her lashes. Confusion filled her gaze.
“Luca?” I nodded and stroked a hand over her hair. “I-it wasn’t a dream?”
“No, baby,” I murmured. “I’m sorry.”
Tears filled her eyes, and she turned away from me. “Go away,” she sobbed. “Leave me alone.”
“I told you she wouldn’t want to see you,” Shaw snipped at me as she crawled into bed with Violet.
“Shaw?” she whimpered.
“I’m here.” Wrapping her arms around Violet, she kissed her forehead. “It’s okay, Vi. I’m here.”
“I-it’s not okay,” she cried. “Remi is gone. H-he left me.”
Clenching my jaw because the sounds leaving her were cracking my heart wide open, I bent and lifted Violet enough so that I could climb in behind her. She turned, her hands already slapping at my chest, but I trapped them between us.
“He didn’t leave you on purpose,” I told her as I rocked her in my arms. “He loved you and never would have just left you behind, Violet. Don’t be mad at him.”
“I’m not mad,” she sobbed. “I’m… I’m…”
“Mad.” I heard Shaw sniffling on the other side of the bed, and I reached out a hand to pull her against Violet’s back, offering her comfort as I took care of the broken girl in my arms. “It’s okay to be mad. It’s not fair. I get that. But don’t be pissed at him, Vi. He did everything he could to make sure you were taken care of.”
“Why did he have to die, though?” she demanded, her anger only growing. “Why did he have to be taken from me when our life together was only just getting started? It’s not fair. We were supposed to grow old together. He… He… He should have at least gotten to hold his daughter. But he didn’t. Not once.”
Her stomach was pressed up against mine, and I felt the baby kicking up a storm. I didn’t speak as she continued to demand to know why. There wasn’t an answer for that particular question that would ever satisfy her, so I kept my mouth shut and just held her while she got it all out—for now.
Her anger was easier for me to handle than her tears, and I let her yell and curse and just be mad. I wasn’t the cause of her anger, even though she was taking it out on me. But I would rather be her verbal or even physical punching bag than have her keep everything bottled up inside until she exploded and ended up hurting herself from it.
Shaw stayed behind her, offering her support by just rubbing Violet’s back. I wasn’t even sure Vi felt her touch because she was too focused on yelling at me.
Eventually, her voice began to give out, and she started to cry again. I tucked her head under my chin and held her, refusing to let her go when she tried to pull free. After a while, her breathing evened out once again, and she fell asleep against me.
Cautiously, Shaw lifted her head and met my gaze. The drapes were slightly open, providing just enough light to see each other. “That was brutal,” she whispered. “How did you take all of that and not crack?”
I shook my head, not wanting to speak in case the sound of my voice disturbed Violet. I took it because it was what she needed. For someone to let her spew her anger at them. I couldn’t even remember what she’d said, but I knew she didn’t mean any of it. They were just words and not what was really in her kind heart.
“I think I’m going to take a shower,” Shaw muttered. “You seem to have everything under control.” I nodded, letting her know I did. “But I’m not going anywhere. I’ll just stay in one of the other guest rooms. Help take care of Krush while she’s out of it.”