One of his hands left my ass and caught mine, guiding it down to the buckle of his belt. Our gazes locked as I undid it along with the snap of his jeans. I carefully lowered the zipper. But when my fingers found the band of his boxer briefs, I hesitated, nervousness hitting me for the first time.
I wanted to touch that part of him, wanted to know what it felt like—what it would taste like. This was one of those many, many firsts I’d been dreaming of having with Braxton.
Sensing my hesitation, he cupped my face in both his hands, rubbing his thumbs over my lips as his dark eyes asked me what was wrong. Swallowing hard, I shook my head, unable to find the words to tell him what was in my head. And my heart.
Pulling my head down to his, he brushed his lips over my neck on his way to my ear. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m rushing you, and there’s no need for that,” he said just loud enough for me to hear him over the music. “We have all the time in the world, Kitten. Forever.”
I closed my eyes as I let that one word float over my entire body, soothing something I didn’t know needed to be soothed. With one hand, he cupped the back of my head, the other rubbing down my spine. It didn’t calm the raging need pulsing through me, making my panties and thighs wetter and wetter with every breath I took. It only made my heart ache more because in that moment, I felt cherished and precious to him.
Chapter 11
Nevaeh
It was late by the time Barrick pulled Aunt Emmie’s SUV into my parents’ driveway. Braxton opened the door and stepped out before reaching in to help me down. As soon as my feet were on the ground, I wrapped my arms around his waist and breathed in deeply.
Combing his fingers through my hair, he tilted my head back and kissed the tip of my nose. “I’ll meet you at the airport.”
“Okay,” I whispered, already missing him. PopPop’s jet had an early takeoff time scheduled, so it was only going to be a few hours until I saw him again, but I didn’t want to leave him.
With another kiss, he walked me up to the porch and waited until I unlocked the door before turning to go. Swallowing hard, I slowly walked through the house to the kitchen to get a bottle of water before going to bed.
Pushing open the door, I stopped when I saw Daddy sitting at the kitchen table. I stopped mid-step and sucked in a deep breath. His long, dark hair was sprinkled with strands of gray, his blue-gray eyes full of worry.
Giving me a grim smile, he lifted his mug of tea. “Want some? It’s ginger to help with my nausea.”
I tried to smile back, but from the way his lips pressed together, I didn’t think I pulled it off. “Sure,” I choked out.
Standing, he walked to the stove where the teakettle was resting. Placing a tea bag in a mug, he added the hot water and grabbed the honey and a spoon on his way back to the table where I’d sat down.
Placing everything in front of me, he retook his seat. I added the honey, keeping my gaze on my mug so I didn’t have to look at him, knowing if I did, I would start crying all over again.
“It’s okay to be scared, Nevaeh. It’s even okay to be angry.”
I lifted startled eyes and finally looked at him. “Who would I be angry at?”
“Me,” he said with a shrug. “I did this. It’s my fault I’m sick right now. You’re allowed to be pissed at me for doing this to you and your mom.”
Reaching out, I wrapped my fingers around his hand, shivering when I felt how cold it was. “Daddy, I’m not mad. Not at you, never you. I know you had a drinking problem before you met Mom. You never talk about why you became an alcoholic, and I won’t make you t
ell me, but I realize it must have been bad.”
His jaw clenched, and I saw his Adam’s apple bob several times before he nodded. “Yeah, sweetheart. It was bad. I won’t put those nightmares in your head, but the booze kept me numb. I liked that feeling a hell of a lot. Until the drinking cost me your mom. She’s why I stopped, why I haven’t picked up a bottle in over twenty years.” He closed his eyes and lowered his head. “And now, the consequences of all that heavy drinking could take everything away.”
“Daddy—”
His eyes snapped open, and when I saw the tears in his eyes, my own burned and filled. “It’s okay to be scared and angry, because I’m terrified and so fucking pissed at myself, I can’t breathe at times. I’m sorry, honey. So damn sorry that I might be taken away from you and your mother. I love you. More than anything, I love you.”
“I-I love you too, Daddy,” I told him around the lump that was choking me. “And you’re right, I am scared. Nothing has ever scared me as much as the thought of losing you.”
“I’m going to do everything I can not to let that happen, Nev.” Tugging on my hand, he pulled me up and onto his lap. Like this, I felt like I was a little girl again, but having Daddy hold me and press a kiss to my temple was the best feeling in the world. My tears spilled over my lashes, and he wiped them away. “Leaving you and our family behind is the last thing I want to do. But…” I fought back a sob, already knowing what he was going to say. “But we have to face reality, sweetheart. This operation might not work. I could reject the liver, or it could fail, or any number of things could go wrong.”
“I know,” I whispered.
“If any of those things happens and I’m no longer here, I need you to know how much I love you and your brother and sisters. How proud you’ve made me.” Tears were pouring out of his eyes now, but he gave me a brave smile. “Nothing has made me happier than getting to be your dad. You and your mom have given me an amazing life. The things that came before you and her…they no longer matter. I’ve had perfection with my family, and I’ll never take any of those years for granted.”
“Daddy, you’re talking like you expect to die.” I threw my arms around him, my shoulders shaking as I fought not to break down completely. I needed to be strong—for him, if no other reason. “You can’t die, Daddy. You can’t! Please, please don’t leave me.”
“I can’t promise that, Nev. I wish I could, but I won’t lie to you.” He wrapped his arms around me, squeezing me gently. “All I can promise is that you will be okay. None of you will ever have to worry about anything. Ever.”