I could still hear her crying. Each sob she took broke something inside me a little more. I didn’t like it when she cried. If it were up to me, Kassa would never have to cry again. But it wasn’t up to me. I couldn’t stop every little thing that hurt her, even if I did wish I could.
I pushed her bedroom door open and glanced inside. Her head was buried in her pillows while she held the fuzzy, purple one I had given her for her birthday the year before against her chest like it could protect her from the outside world. It was getting dark out, and I had tried to give her time to sort out what she was feeling on her own, as Alicia would have told me to do, but I couldn’t keep listening to Kassa cry and not lose my mind.
She didn’t move as I closed the door behind me and then crossed the room to her bed. After climbing up beside her, I turned on my side and pulled her head onto my chest. She released the death grip she’d had on her pillow and wrapped one arm around me, burying her face in my shirt as she cried harder. I rubbed my fingers up and down her back, trying to soothe her, afraid I couldn’t make her tears stop.
Minutes passed, but eventually, her sobs turned to small hiccups, but I wasn’t sure that was any better. Those little whimpers were twisting something in my chest that only she had the ability to twist.
I gave her a gentle squeeze but didn’t stop rubbing her back. “Alicia is fine,” I told her in a quiet voice. “The dog didn’t get her. And Sin is on his way home now. Everyone is okay now, little caterpillar.”
“But the dog is dead,” she whispered in a broken voice.
“Yeah, he is.” I lifted my head so I could look down at her. “But that isn’t your fault. None of this is your fault. It’s not anyone’s fault but the dog’s owners. Having a dog is like having a kid, and they weren’t very good dog parents. It didn’t know any better when it was a puppy, but they didn’t teach it right from wrong.”
She sniffled loudly and let out a shuddery little breath. “I’m sorry it died.”
“Me too, Kas. Me too. But I’m just glad that you didn’t get hurt.” I wiped the tears still running down her face, streaking it.
She lay there for a minute, her little mind working overtime as she stared at something over my shoulder. Then her blue eyes closed and her chin trembled. “I was scared. I thought it was going to kill Sin.”
I put my head back down beside her and tucked her close, not wanting her to see how scared I had been too. I didn’t want to think what might have been, what could have happened to her. “It’s okay to be scared. But, right now, there isn’t anything to be afraid of. I’m here, and I won’t ever let anything hurt you. Okay?”
She nodded against my shoulder, her tears soaking into my shirt. Without realizing I was doing it, I started humming the song I had made up for her. It wasn’t a typical lullaby, but she had always liked it. There were no words, just the soft humming that she had always said was pretty and soothing. I could feel the tension slowly leaving her, could feel the change in her breathing, and knew she was falling asleep. I tightened my arm around her and tucked her closer.
“Everything will be better tomorrow,” I promised. “You’ll see.”
“Love you, Gray,” she said with a sleepy sigh.
“Love you more, Kassa.”
FOUR
Gray
Gray age 22
Kassa age 17
Being offered a contract to perform weekly at one of the hottest new clubs in California should have had me howling at the moon. From the moment Harris Cutter had introduced himself, I had known that my band was actually going somewhere. Being offered a year contract on the spot by the son of OtherWorld’s drummer, knowing the contacts and connections he was offering us—those were things dreams were made of. Shit like that just didn’t happen—not to me, at least.
Yet he had. It was real. We were going to Los Angeles to give it a try, to let the rock world get a taste of what Tainted Knights could offer.
But I hadn’t counted on one thing.
Saying goodbye to Kassa. Having to leave her behind, not getting to see her every day. Not waking up to her beside me the mornings after neither one of us could sleep and we had spent the night talking and laughing until we couldn’t keep our eyes open any longer.
It was killing me to think about being so far away from her. I didn’t know how I was going to do it, but I had to. If Jace could break up with Kin so he could leave and focus on our music, I could say goodbye to my little caterpillar.
Right?
I glanced across the back seat of Alicia’s car at her. Jace and I were flying out to Los Angeles today, and so far, Kassa had kept a brave face on, but I could see how tight her smile was. See the glitter of tears in her eyes before she would blink them back. Every time her pretty blue eyes glazed over with moisture, something tightened painfully in my chest, which made it impossible to breathe for a second or two.
From the front passenger’s seat, Jace shot a glance back at his sister, his face just as tense as mine as concern darkened his eyes. “I’ll call you tonight, okay?” he told her for what was probably the fifth time that day.
She nodded, her smile perfectly in place, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “Okay,” she murmured, but there was no strength behind it.
I took her hand, folding her fingers into a fist and covering it with my own. “I miss you already,” I told her honestly and saw the hold she had on her tears start to crack. “But one call is all it will take to get me back here if you need me. Okay?”
A single tear spilled from her eyes, floating down her cheek and tearing my heart into shreds.