For once, Kale didn’t make a smartass joke about it. “Tell Kas I said hi,” he said as he picked his fresh beer up and headed straight for the booth of girls.
Sin grabbed his drink. “Sorry, bro. But I just want to get drunk and laid. See you later.”
I frowned after them, not because I was pissed they were leaving me to score pussy. I couldn’t have cared less. I didn’t need those shitheads to have a good time. It was because I hadn’t been in the mood to score like they were doing in weeks. Ever since Kassa had come back with me, I hadn’t gone looking for a hookup once. I hadn’t fucked around or even wanted to fuck around.
I was perfectly happy not scoring a new chick every night, because when I was out without Kassa, all I thought about—all I wanted—was to get home and be with her. If I wasn’t hanging out with my friends, I was with her. I wasn’t bored like I had thought I might be, and that only confused the hell out of me.
Was this what it felt like when you were in love with someone? This empty feeling when Kassa wasn’t with me? The contentment when she was right beside me? The peace when she smiled at me or cuddled in close to me at night when I slept in the same bed with her?
I didn’t know, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to know. What if what I was feeling was because I was in love with Kassa? What would happen if I changed my mind and gave in to what we were both feeling but I still ended up hurting her?
I didn’t want to know, didn’t want to think about losing her if that happened.
I finished my third beer in two drinks and tossed a few bills beside my empty bottle before heading out. Sin and Kale didn’t even notice when I left, already lost in the group of chicks as they giggled and flirted with them.
Outside, I grabbed a cab and headed home. It was just after midnight, and Jace wasn’t home. He was either spending the night at Kin’s or still out with her at First Bass. The apartment seemed empty when I opened the door, but Kassa’s door was slightly ajar, and when I glanced inside, she was tucked under the covers with the TV on.
I didn’t even hesitate to enter her bedroom. After kicking my shoes off, I took off my shirt, my jeans, and my socks before climbing into bed beside her. She barely stirred as I shifted her over and pulled the covers up over myself before wrapping my arm around her and tucking her close.
“Love you, Kas.”
“Hmm?” Her eyes fluttered open for a few seconds before closing. “Love you,” she mumbled sleepily.
“I love you, Kassa.” I tried the words out, just to see how it would feel, but there wasn’t anything different about saying the words.
Except … maybe that was because I had fallen for her a long time ago.
I just hadn’t let myself admit it.
TWENTY TWO
Gray
Gray age 24
Kassa age 19
The feel of a warm body squirming beside me had my eyes snapping open. It took two seconds for me to realize that I wasn’t in my own bed, but in Kassa’s. Her body was tangled around mine, her legs twisted between my own and her hand tucked between us as she used my chest as her pillow.
I didn’t remember climbing into bed with her. Fuck, I wasn’t even sure I remembered getting
home the night before, but it wasn’t the first time this had happened in the last year. More often than not, I ended up in her bed because it was the only way I could sleep. The nights I didn’t sleep in her bed, she slept in mine, unable to sleep without me any more than I could without her.
She sighed softly and squirmed against me again, trying to find a more comfortable position, which only had me increasingly more uncomfortable from the waist down. Fuck, but I was hard as a damn rock. Which was just one more thing I had gotten used to in the time she had been living with me and Jace. I seemed to be constantly in a state of full hard-on, twenty-four-seven because of her.
My arm tightened around her and I turned us onto our sides, letting her pillow her head on my bicep, which made it easier for me to hide the powerful effect she had on my cock. Her hair fell over my arm and across her pillow, giving me a perfect view of her beautiful face, which was soft with sleep. And I couldn’t help but think about the past year.
As she had promised, things hadn’t changed between us—at least not on her part. After the initial bumps in the road, we had fallen back into our old relationship. I was pretty sure my friends and her brother were happy about that, because Kassa was the only one who could handle me when I got moody. Which, according to Kin, happened daily.
At first, I had liked that we could be the same old Gray and Kassa, had appreciated that it was hard for her and cherished our friendship even more because I knew how hard it was for her to put everything behind her and fall back into the role of just friends. But, over time, things had changed between us—or maybe I had changed. I didn’t want to think about it, but it was true. I hadn’t fucked around this past year like I once had. I went out with my friends, got drunk every now and then, but I came home every night.
Alone.
Every morning, I woke up with Kassa beside me, come rain or shine. She had complained the week before that it was becoming a habit, sounding annoyed, but I could tell she was just blowing off steam at me. I hadn’t wanted to get into it with her, mostly for fear that she would stop letting me into her bed at night, but the truth was I didn’t enjoy getting to open my eyes to find her tucked in close to me because of a damn habit. I liked it because it felt right. If things changed tomorrow and I didn’t get to wake up to her hogging the covers or pressing her cold feet to my thighs, it would wreck me.
“Why are you staring at me like that?” she grumbled, still half-asleep.
“Because you’re beautiful,” I told her honestly, mentally arguing with myself over the reasons why I couldn’t kiss her full, ripe bottom lip or let my fingers ease between her silky, soft legs to see if she was just as turned on at having me beside her like this as I was.