I couldn’t fault her observation. He looked like he hadn’t slept in a week, and I couldn’t help but wonder if he had even gone to bed the night before.
“Yeah, whatever. It’s good to see you too.” His lips twisted as he looked back at me. “Can we talk?”
Talk? I didn’t know if I was ready to do that with him yet—if I would ever be. I just wanted to forget what had happened the night before and try to move on. Which seemed kind of impossible. How did anyone follow after what I had felt with this g
uy? How could they possibly compare to … to … Fuck, I couldn’t even find a word to describe what I had felt with him.
“Sorry, but her time is spoken for at the moment,” Kin said as she slipped her arm through mine. “We’re going to hang out and give each other pedicures until it’s time for her to leave for graduation practice.”
“Your toes can wait,” Gray half growled as he crossed the space between us and pulled me away from Kin. “Kassa and I have to talk.”
“I’m not ready to talk yet,” I told him, quickly pulling my arm free when it felt like I was going to be ignited with the fire we had both been consumed by the night before. “Just give me a little time, okay?”
“Kas,” he breathed, his eyes so sad that it physically hurt me to look at them. “Please…”
Jace walked into the house and stopped Gray short. “Yo, Kas. I hope you’re ready for next week! I’ve got so many things planned for your first night in Cali. I’m going to take you to the beach and show you all the crazy people who seem to live in the ocean. Then I’ll take you to First Bass and show you around.” He paused when he entered the living room, his arms full of his and Kin’s bags. When he saw Gray standing over me, his eyes narrowed. “Fuck, man. What the hell have you been on? You look like pure shit.”
Annoyance flashed in his sand-colored eyes. “I had a rough night.”
“Must have been a wild party,” Jace chuckled as he headed for the stairs. “Babe, where am I putting your bags? Please say my room!”
Kin put a hand on my shoulder and gave it a firm squeeze before following after him. “Alicia is cool, but not that cool, Jace. I’ll bunk with Kassa.”
“Ah, babe!” he groaned.
I watched them go until they were out of sight before turning back to Gray, who was looking at me. “Don’t say it,” I snapped when he opened his mouth to speak. “If you say you’re sorry one more damn time, I won’t be held accountable for what I do.”
He pressed his lips together as if to stop the flow of the words he knew I didn’t want to hear. “I don’t want last night to change things between us, Kas. Do you understand how important you are to me? That I can’t fucking live without you in my life? I seriously fucked up last night, and I don’t know how to fix this.”
I wrapped my arms around myself, hurting so badly that I felt almost physically sick from it. “Is that really what you want, Gray? You want to fix last night? You want to go back to … what, exactly? Us being best friends?”
“Yes,” he said without a single second of hesitation. “That’s exactly what I want.”
“You can do that? Pretend like what we did, what we felt, never happened?”
“Yes,” he said, still without hesitation.
I closed my eyes, fighting tears, but there was no way in hell I was going to let him see them. If that was what he wanted, then I would give it to him. But… If he could so easily move on, then I would do it too. I would wipe the memory of the night before completely from my head.
Yeah right, that bitchy inner voice mocked.
“Okay,” I whispered, and then I cleared my throat and made it sound stronger. “Okay. Last night never happened. You and I, we’re just friends. Now and forever.”
Something that looked close to regret flashed in his eyes, but it was gone in the blink of an eye and I didn’t question it. “Really?” he asked.
I nodded.
He let out a long, relieved breath. “And you’ll come back with me next week?”
Unlike him, I hesitated—because I didn’t have an answer for that particular question yet.
“Kas?” His face took on a pleading look. “I need you to come back with me.”
“I’m still thinking about it,” I told him honestly.
“Kassa—”
“Hey, Kas!” Jace called out before appearing at the top of the stairs. “I’m going to camp in your room tonight.”