Pain choked me at that thought, and I wrapped my arms around my middle as I turned away from a group of people coming down the escalator. I didn’t want to think about Gray fucking anyone, but it seemed like that was all I thought about where he was concerned these days. I seriously didn’t want to go to California and see the proof of it, not when my imagination was working overtime thinking about it.
I was so torn over it, plus leaving Alicia, that I was considering telling everyone that I wasn’t ready to move. I had survived this long without my brother or Gray and it hadn’t killed me. I could do it a little longer. It could wait until school started for the fall semester, which wasn’t until the end of August. I could have a little more time with the woman who had adopted me, and I could have a little longer to find a way to deal with having to see Gray whore himself out every night.
“Kas!” an all-too-familiar voice called out behind me.
Goose bumps popped up along my arms, and I told myself that this was okay, I was okay, and I could do this. Slowly, I turned, a welcoming smile on my face. The one I had practiced in the mirror for the last few days. Then I saw him on the escalator, his gym bag strap slung over his arm and his red carry-on beside him.
My heart stopped at the sight of him, my breath literally trapped in my lungs as he smiled at me across the distance that separated us. He lifted the carry-on up and then above his head like it was a sack of feathers and then pushed his way down the escalator, not seeming to notice the people he was bumping into in his rush to get to the bottom as quickly as possible.
All I could do was stand there as if I were frozen in place. I had tried to tell myself over and over again that he wasn’t as good-looking as I kept imagining him to be. That the pictures around our house were lying when they showed me how handsome and sexy he really was. That his golden skin wasn’t really honey-kissed, or that his sand-colored eyes weren’t as unique as I let myself think. That, when he smiled, he didn’t do it with his entire soul in his eyes. His shoulders weren’t as massive as the picture proclaimed them—a camera added weight, for fuck’s sake.
Those had all been lies I had fed myself over the months since I had last seen him in the flesh, and if anything, he was even bigger now. As he grew closer, making anyone who dared to move into his path practically get bulldozed over because he wasn’t watching where he was going or didn’t seem bothered by who he walked over, I saw that his shirt was so tight that it looked like the material would split down the middle if he sneezed wrong. Tight veins had popped up on his arms, even more prominent now than they had been at Christmas.
I ate up the sight of him, soaking in the way his smile made his eyes actually sparkle, and still, I just stood there.
Then he was right there in front of me, his bag and his case on the ground at our feet, and I was in his arms. My arms went around his neck, and I let go of my hold on my happy tears as I hugged him and let him swing me around and around. People stopped and watched us, but neither of us saw or noticed their amused and somehow knowing smiles.
“Fuck,” he groaned against my ear. “I thought today was never going to get here. I missed you so damn much, little caterpillar.”
“You couldn’t have possibly missed me more than I missed you,” I argued, laughing tearfully.
He pulled back a little so he could look down at me and gave a shake of his head.
“What took you so long? I was starting to think you left without me,” I demanded when his eyes darkened at the sight of my tears.
“The plane sat on the tarmac for thirty minutes. No one explained why, and I was about to break a window and jump off the damn thing so I could get to you when they finally opened the door.” He set me on my feet and picked his things up. After slinging the bag over his shoulder again, he grabbed the handle of the rolling case and then took my hand, entwining our fingers as we walked outside.
“I hate when they don’t give an explanation.” I pulled my key fob from my pocket and handed it over to him when we got to the car, knowing he was going to want to drive.
He took it with a smirk before opening the trunk and putting his things inside. Then he walked around to the passenger’s door and opened it for me, but before I could get in, he stopped me with a hand on my arm. I looked up at him, saw the look in his eyes, and tried to decipher it, but the sun was shining right in my face and I couldn’t see what he was thinking.
Gray lowered his head and touched his lips to my cheek. “It’s good to see you, Kas.”
My smile was genuine when I looked up at him. “You too. You look great, by the way. Been working out like mad, it looks like.”
He shrugged his massive shoulders. “It keeps my mind occupied.”
From what? I wanted to ask the question but kept my lips pressed closed, not sure I wanted to know the answer.
The drive home was a lot smoother than the one I’d had on the way to the airport. Traffic flowed easily while there were still cars lined up for two miles on the other side from the wreck. Gray spent the time catching me up on Sin, Kale, and Cash. The guys were still working their extra jobs because their manager, Emmie Armstrong, was working on getting Tainted Knights a record deal. The band’s contract was up, and an all-chick band had taken their place at First Bass. The Blonde Bombshells had sounded kickass from one of the videos Jace had posted on social media.
“Okay, enough about the guys,” Gray grumbled as he took the exit that would lead home. “What are your plans for this week?”
“I’ve been invited to a few parties, but I haven’t made up my mind about going or not.”
“Who invited you?”
I shrugged and looked out the window at the passing houses. “Just a few friends.” I didn’t want to get in to it too deeply.
There were a handful of parties going on, most of which people would show up to for a few drinks before moving on to the next. But they were all given by people Gray couldn’t stand.
“Who are you going with?”
“I still haven’t decided if I want to go,” I reminded him.
“Who, Kassa?”
“Kevin Young asked me to go with him, okay?” I muttered and felt his sudden tension.