Embarrassed, I hurried through a shower and then went downstairs. I found Gray at the kitchen table, eating an omelet, and drinking coffee. When he lifted his head as I entered the room, he didn’t immediately smile his usual smile in welcome, which made me pause. But then he grinned and stood, pulling out the chair across from his before reaching for the plate of scrambled eggs and lightly buttered toast and a glass of orange juice from the counter by the fridge.
“Morning, sleepyhead.”
My cheeks hurt from burning so badly, but I moved to the table and took the seat he had pulled out for me. As I sat, he put the plate and the glass of juice in front of me.
“There’s fruit in the fridge too. I’ve already washed it and chopped it up for you.”
“Did you go grocery shopping?” Because I had eaten all the fruit in the house two days before and hadn’t had a chance to buy more yet.
He shrugged as he retook his seat and sipped his coffee. “I went to AJ’s for a workout and then stopped to get a few things I noticed we were out of.”
“Oh. Um, thanks.” I picked my fork up and took a small bite of the eggs. They tasted delicious, and I realized he had made them exactly the way I liked: with milk and a little cheese.
We drifted into a tense silence, but I kept my eyes on my plate, mostly pushing the food around with my fork, unable to eat when I wasn’t sure if I had something to apologize for or not.
“What’s wrong, Kas?” he muttered when the tension began to become too much for either of us. “Don’t you like your breakfast?”
“No, no, it’s great. Thank you for making it for me.” I bit my lip and tried to gather my courage, afraid to ask the question I needed to, but knowing I had to do it. “I just… I—”
His eyebrows lifted, but I could see without his having to say a word that he was holding himself back. He was edgy, but there was something in his eyes when he looked at me that made my heart beat harder. “Tell me what’s bothering you.”
“I’m sorry if I did anything in my sleep that I shouldn’t have,” I rushed out. “If I did or said anything that…that...” The pink burning my cheeks could have caused a forest fire. “I’m sorry,” I finally mumbled and looked back down at my plate.
I wasn’t looking at him, not when his fork clattered as it hit his plate, not when he scooted his chair back in a rush. I couldn’t look at him, not when everything I was fighting would be so clear in my eyes. I heard his footsteps as he came around the table, and then he was crouching in front of me. He pulled my chair back so easily that it was like I wasn’t really sitting there and then turned it so that I was facing him.
His thumb and his forefinger grasped my chin and lifted it just enough so I had to look at him. “You have nothing to be sorry about, little caterpillar. Nothing. I get it. It was just a dream. A really hot dream, but just a dream nonetheless.”
“What did I do?” I demanded, my voice choked. “What did I say?”
He shook his head at me. “Nothing that matters, so please stop worrying about it. Please?”
“So…we’re okay?”
His fingers moved from my cheek and cupped my jaw so tenderly that I nearly whimpered at how good it felt. “We will always be okay. No matter what, you and me, we will always be okay.”
“Gray!” I reached out to hug him, but he had been about to move at the same time, and we crashed to the kitchen floor, with me on top of him, our bodies practically entwined. “Crap. Sorry.”
He chuckled, but it seemed strained, and when I started to move off him, I felt why. Holy shit! Was that really his erection? Had I made him hard?
Curiosity got the better of me before I could rein it in and I shifted my pelvis against him while watching his face. I saw his reaction before he could try to hide it, the way his eyes darkened and dilated. Lower, I felt him flex against my tummy and knew then and there that I had been wrong.
Gray could feel for me what I felt for him. He did feel it. He was just too honorable to act on it.
And holy God, he was massive. I could feel the outline of both his length and his thickness and couldn’t even imagine how something that big could fit inside anyone, let alone me. I had tried to picture what Gray’s cock would look like in the last year or so, had fantasized about it and touched myself. I had suspected he would have a nice-sized cock, but what I was feeling was beyond my wildest dreams.
“Kassa, please,” he groaned when I shifted my hips and his nostrils flared. “I’m only so strong, baby.”
“Why do you have to be strong?” I whispered, my embarrassment about what might or might not have happened while I had been asleep almost gone. I could feel and see exactly how much he wanted me, so there was no need to be embarrassed anymore.
One hand lifted to push my hair back from my face, his fingers lingering for only a moment longer before falling to his side again. “Because this is wrong. We grew up together, under the same roof, with the same woman raising us. We’re like family.”
“There isn’t a single drop of blood shared between us, Gray,” I reminded him.
“No, but Alicia would think it’s wrong. She’s my aunt and legally your mother.”
I rolled my eyes at him. “Alicia has never wanted to be called mom. She’s never made a point to remind any of us that legally we are family. Never. If you cared about me and I cared about you, then she would be happy for us.”
His eyes took on that shuttered look, and I knew he was blocking out all the good arguments I had. “It’s still not right, Kassa. I’m no good for you. You know that. I’ve showed you that. Fuck, I’m just thankful you still want to be my friend after all the shit I’ve done over the years.”