By the time I pulled into the driveway, it was nearly nine. The interstate had been buzzing with people on their way to visit family for Christmas Eve, but our street was eerily quiet as I climbed out of the car and lifted the luggage from the trunk. Pulling the heavy cases behind me, I walked up to the front door and used my key to let myself in. The house was silent, but I had expected Kassa and Alicia to be gone. They went to the children’s home where Kassa and Jace had spent a little time before Alicia had adopted them and gave out presents every Christmas Eve.
I quickly unpacked the presents and put them under the tree that was already decorated in the living room. Then I parked the car down the street a few houses so that they wouldn’t know I was there before rushing through a shower. A glance at my phone told me that I had at least twenty minutes before they got home, so I ate a sandwich and then found a comfortable place to hide so I could surprise Kassa.
Jace was still back in California with Kin. After having spent the last few months trying to win her back when he’d realized she was living so close with her father, he had been desperate to work things out with her. So far, she hadn’t given him the time of day, but even I could see she was weakening. I didn’t understand how he could stay though, not when Kassa was in another state for Christmas.
After searching every inch of the house for the right place to hide, I ended up in Kassa’s room. I was excited to see my aunt, but Kassa was the main reason I was home. For weeks now, our conversations had been getting shorter and shorter, and I practically had to beg her for more time before we ended our calls. I knew she missed me, that sometimes talking made it worse, but I needed to show her that I missed her more.
I crossed to her bed without bothering to turn the lights on, knowing my way around her room as easily as I did my own. After dropping onto the bed, I stretched out across it and grabbed one of her pillows to put my head on.
I heard the garage door opening and knew they had gotten home. The garage door closed, and then the back door to the kitchen slammed shut. Twenty minutes passed with no sign of Kassa, and I had to force myself to stay where I was instead of impatiently going in search of her.
Another ten minutes or so went by before finally I heard footsteps outside Kassa’s door.
“Goodnight, Alicia.”
“Night, sweetheart. Let’s have a late morning tomorrow, okay? No use in getting up early with Jace and Gray not here.”
“Okay. Love you.”
“Love you too, honey.”
Kassa’s door opened, which let a slice of light in from the hall, but Kassa was still looking toward Alicia as she stepped inside and then closed the door. She didn’t turn the overhead light on as she moved toward the bed. I heard a zipper lowering and then Kassa sighed in relief as she tossed her jeans toward the closet.
She sat on the edge of her bed and clicked nightstand’s lamp on before pulling her earrings off and placing them into a small box beside the alarm clock. I held my breath as I watched her, trying to keep as still and as quiet as possible as she had her back to me.
It had been seven months since I had seen her face-to-face, but I hadn’t expected her to change so dramatically. Kassa had always been beautiful, so much so that she didn’t seem real at times. But, now, with just a glimpse of her in the soft light of her lamp, I saw that her body had filled out more. If I had thought that it was impossible for her to become even more beautiful, I had been wrong.
For several long moments, she stared off sightlessly at nothing in particular, as if she had a million things weighing on her mind. All I could see was her back, but her shoulders were tense, as if she were trying to hold the world up on her own. Then she blew out a heartbreakingly long sigh and shook her head.
Her long, blond hair fell over her left shoulder as she slowly turned, ready to climb under the covers. Then her blue eyes fell on me as I lay there watching her. She didn’t scream as I had expected her to, didn’t gasp or cry out in excitement at seeing me unexpectedly. Instead, she blinked once
. Then twice more.
“You’re not real,” she whispered with a wobble to her chin. “You can’t be real.”
I grasped her waist and pulled her down beside me, pillowing her head on my chest. This was everything I had been missing. This closeness late at night, with her snuggled up against me in bed, as we talked for hours on end. We weren’t talking now, not yet at least, but that didn’t matter. I had Kassa against me, and my heart was beating right for the first time in seven long-ass months.
“This doesn’t feel real enough for you?” I asked her quietly before kissing the top of her head.
“You’re in California, so you can’t possibly be real.” She was still whispering, but I could hear the confusion in her tone.
“I’m real,” I assured her with a laugh.
She pulled back and lifted herself onto her elbow so she could look down at me. “How is that possible? I thought you had to work. I thought…” Her chin wobbled even more, and when the tears filled her eyes, I felt gutted. “I thought you would spend Christmas with Jace and the guys.”
“Fuck work. The band can survive without me for a week.” My hand lifted before I even knew it was moving and pushed her thick hair back from her face. A face that was even more gorgeous now than I remembered. Something in my chest twisted as I looked up at her and it scared the ever-loving fuck out of me. It made my adrenaline spike though, and I realized that, even as scary as that feeling was, I liked it. “There was no way in hell I was missing Christmas with you, little caterpillar.”
“Gray,” she breathed as she threw herself against me, her hands fisting in my T-shirt as she held on tight. “Oh, God. I’m so happy to see you.”
I wrapped my arms around her, locking her place as I buried my face in her hair and inhaled deeply the sweet scent of her shampoo. Mint and raspberry were a combination I had never liked until Kassa had started washing her hair with it. I had missed that scent almost as much as I had missed her.
She shifted on top of me, her stomach rubbing over my lower body and waking it up. Fucking shit! I had never reacted that quickly to anyone with so innocent a touch, yet my cock was reacting to her as if it didn’t realize that this was Kassa.
Stop, my mind screamed. You can’t have her. She’s too precious.
I clenched my fingers on her flesh for a second before I forced them to relax and mentally told my cock to calm the fuck down. This was Kassa, my little caterpillar. I wasn’t supposed to get hard for her. She was my best friend, not some girl I could play around with for a few hours and then send on her way. She was my life, my only constant, my only salvation.
But, no matter what I told my body, it didn’t listen. My cock only hardened more, straining through my sweats and pulsing against her as the tip wept with a burning need to take her and make her mine. I clenched my eyes shut, mentally cursing my cock and its one-track mind. With a tortured groan, I pulled her onto the bed and turned us so we were facing each other on our sides, keeping a good distance between her lower body and my own.