I was tempted to scoff. Tempted to remind him that we were on a break, which meant that, for the time being anyway, he was no longer the boss of me. But since all I knew about the place was what little I’d learned from the two old guys who first mentioned it back in the Viewing Room, I decided to quash my first instinct and play it another way.
“Why?” I asked, eyes widening in the way that always worked on my dad but rarely, if ever, on my mom.
“It’s forbidden. Seriously. It’s been outlawed for …” He pinched his brow, looked all around as if he expected to find the answer written somewhere. “Well, let’s just say it’s outlawed. But leave it to you to try to find it.” He shook his head, slid a hand deep into his scalp where he clutched a fistful of hair, and sighed in frustration. “Just—just stay away, okay? Just this once, just, please, take my word for it, and do as I say. Can you do that? Can you behave yourself long enough for me to enjoy my hard-earned break?”
I screwed my mouth to the side, deciding to make him wait for my reply. Enjoying the fact that he was no longer checking on Jasmine—I finally had his full, undivided attention.
But it didn’t take long before his knee started to jiggle, and this time, his fingers joined in. Twitching and fidgeting as they jumped from his hair to his sweater to his belt loop and back, eager to be rid of me—eager to move on to the kinds of things older kids did.
So I let him.
I gave him exactly what he wanted when I looked at him and said, “No worries. Forget I ever asked.”
He shot me a skeptical look.
“Seriously.” I nodded. “I mean, at first I thought it might be kind of cool, but hey, if it’s been outlawed and all, well …” I paused, taking a moment to rearrange my expression in a way that I hoped looked more honest. “I don’t want to cause any more trouble. Not after getting big kudos from the Council, so …” I spun on my heel, hoping for a speedy exit, but it wasn’t long before I realized Buttercup had, once again, chosen Bodhi over me. Forcing me to stop long enough to manifest another handful of dog biscuits just to get him to follow.
“Riley—this is for real, right? You’re not just saying that, you meant what you said?” Bodhi’s voice drifted behind me.
But I just stormed straight ahead, waving my hand in dismissal. Wanting him to think I was in a big hurry.
Wanting him to think I had somewhere far more exciting to be.
4
As it turned out, I didn’t go to the place where all the dreams are created. And not just because of what Bodhi had said.
I mean, yeah, I’d heard him loud and clear. The place was outlawed. Forbidden. Or at least it was according to him. But besides the fact that it wouldn’t do me any good to go looking for trouble, the main reason I didn’t go was because I had no idea where to find it. No idea where to even begin.
So I went home instead. Figuring I’d just hang there until I came up with a much better plan. Not the least bit surprised to find the house empty. I pretty much expected it to be.
The house wasn’t there for my parents or grandparents—the house was manifested for me.
My family had been in the Here & Now for a while. My grandparents having arrived way back when I was still a baby, while my parents came straight over from the scene of the accident.
I’m the one who lingered.
I’m the one who couldn’t stand to leave my old life behind.
Still, from the moment I crossed the bridge and ended up Here, they were all waiting to greet me. Eager to show me around, show me the ropes, and one of the first things they did was bring me to an exact replica of our old house—thinking I’d be comforted by something familiar.
For a while it worked. I felt comforted for sure.
I loved the way my dad’s old leather chair sat smack in the middle of the den just like it did in our original house back in Oregon. I loved the way Ever’s and my initials were still carved into its arm (even though we got in some serious trouble for doing that). I loved the way Buttercup’s leash hung on the wall, and how our mud-covered rain boots were all piled up against the back door. I even loved the way Ever’s old room stayed exactly the same, allowing me to visit from time to time and gaze at her things. Pretending that, for the moment anyway, she wasn’t so far away.
But mostly I loved my room.
I loved the way the walls were littered with the exact same posters I’d had back when I was alive.
I loved the way my dresser was crammed full of the same kind of socks, and underwear, and cute T-shirts I once wore.
And while I hadn’t been Here all that long, and while they’d gone to a great deal of effort to make it look lived in, I was pretty dang sure they hadn’t spent any real time there before I came along.
I was pretty dang sure they had their own homes.
I mean, once you understand how it all works—once you understand that you can have the kind of house you always dreamed of merely by wishing it—well, most people wouldn’t dream of settling for what they could afford back on the earth plane.
Most people set themselves up in places far more exciting than that.