Opening the bathroom door, I pull down a towel from the high cabinet and begin shoving things into my duffel bag before moving to the other side of my room to shut the sliding door that leads to the balcony. The balcony is probably my favorite part of my room, with the five-piece dining table which overlooks the infinite stretch of the Pacific Ocean. My bedroom is small but cozy, equipped with a bathroom and tub, and a walk-in closet. No kitchen, so that means we all eat together in the restaurant.
I make my way down to the elevators and once I’m in, I hit the button for the top deck. I can’t wait to be on real soil. Any soil.
Just as the door is sliding closed, an arm comes in and stops it. I didn’t have to think twice to know who it was, what with the shiny gold Rolex on his wrist strapped around his tattooed arm.
Killian steps inside, and when he notices me, he steps away, making sure he’s on the other side of the elevator. The doors close, keeping us confined to a space that is small enough to feel him breathing down my back.
I tense.
“You know…” Killian smirks, and I can’t help but seek him out. I try not to look at him as much as possible, because when I do, it’s like a magnetic force is keeping me there and I have to use all of my strength to pull away. As though he’s peering into my soul. Like he’s looking beyond my overrated exterior and sees all of the ugly parts of my soul, but instead of being revolted by them, he wants to challenge them. He bathes in the presence of my demons, teasing them with his stupid grin.
He leans back against the wall, the sharp curves of his jaw accentuated by the dim lighting.
Killian is gorgeous. That is obvious. But I know gorgeous. I get told the same, and that doesn’t stop the thoughts that go through my brain. Beauty only neutralizes the evil in a person. It blinds people with its surface to conceal the darkness that swims beneath it.
He smirks, probably assuming I was checking him out. I wasn’t. I was more sizing him up. “You know I could have you spread eagle underneath me, screaming mercy within three seconds if I wanted…” He lifts a smoke from his pocket and brings it to his lips. My eyebrows raise in challenge. His eyes narrow slightly. “And before you blow the rape whistle on me, first of all, fuck you for thinking that, and second of all, fuck you again because guess what.” He inhales from his cigarette, kicking off the wall and coming toe-to-toe with me. He blows smoke rings into my face, and it’s the only thing that is distracting me from his mere proximity. His lips curve over his perfect white teeth. Wish I could say they were veneers, but unfortunately not. The man is just genetically blessed. Blessed by Satan. “I’m not fucking interested in you anymore.”
The doors ping open and he steps out, winking at me in his retreat.
I exhale, my heart thundering in my chest.
This is a good thing.
This is what I wanted.
Blank. Black. Is it? Black walls cave in around me and my hands fly out to stop them from crushing me to death. I’m reaching but nothing touches my palm. I scream as the invisible walls continue their impending climb toward each other.
The invisible fist of the scene that unfolded in my head clamps around the connecting valves of my heart, forcefully tugging on them. Goddamnit. I quickly push the open button and step out onto the top deck, exhaling deeply through curved lips, and praying, fucking praying, that from now on, Killian stays away from me.
I wish I could say that I didn’t remember my childhood.
I wish I could say that what happened to Perse happened to me, but unfortunately, I was not lucky enough. Like a sick psychological thriller that keeps playing in my head on repeat, my father’s murder plays on repeat. My mother dying not long before.
Chills break out over my flesh as I spin around to run back into the elevator and go back to my room, only Kenan bumps into me and I jump in shock, tossing my clothes at his face as I reach for something—anything—that I could use as a weapon. My muscles tense as tremors wrack my bones.
“Wow!” Kenan raises his hands in surrender. “It’s me…”
I suck in copious amounts of air as my heartbeat slows. Thud. Thud. Thud.
“—Hey!” Kenan’s hands come to both my cheeks, and he swipes away the sweat that’s rolling down the side of my face. “It’s me.”
I let out one last shaky breath, then smile, collecting myself. “Thanks. Sorry. I had a nightmare last night, so I’m a bit jumpy.”