She wraps her arms around the back of my neck. “Just for tonight, and then you’re dropping me back here in the morning.”
I nod. “Deal.”
Fuck no.
“Okay,” she sighs, and I step away so she can jump off the counter. “Just one night.”
Tillie
Nate is driving us back to his house when we pass the Chinese restaurant we visited a couple of months ago. He pulls in without me saying anything as I continue to wipe the rest of the face paint off my face with a wet wipe.
He continues through the drive-through, ordering all of my favorite dishes. The smell distracts me from the song playing on the radio, and I turn to watch the passing trees. I can’t believe all that has happened tonight, but now that I’ve had time to sit back and evaluate everything, I always found it strange how Daemon was here only sometimes, and those times were usually when I was fuzzy with some kind of trauma. His bed was always made neatly, and although he was Daemon, I always felt like he wasn’t Daemon. It’s why I hesitated to kiss him, why he looked different, and maybe even why my nightmare showed him killing me.
I sigh, reaching into the bag and popping open the fried coconut shrimp. My absolute favorite.
“What’s going on in that head of yours?” Nate asks from over his shoulder, eyeing me skeptically.
“Just that I feel batshit crazy.” I bite into my shrimp, chewing slowly.
Nate chuckles. “We’re all fucking crazy, Tillie, but it’s who we stay sane for that matters. You need to for you. Love is just an anchor. It can either be the reason you drown or the reason you float. You can’t ride on that to keep you sane.”
I take another bite and then toss the tail end back into the bag. “I see your point. So, I should stay sane for love? Or the possibility of love?” I ask, genuinely interested in his answer.
He’s pulling down the gated driveway to his home, and what was once my home. He snorts, jerking up the brake. “Fuck no. You stay sane for yourself, because you can’t give people that kind of power. You have to make it—for you.”
“What about you?” I ask. Things between Nate and I will never be awkward. We know each other’s darkest, dirtiest secrets, and power comes with trust when that person knows the dark corners of your dusty soul.
“Least of all me,” he whispers, and then shoves his door open and slams it closed.
Nate is the biggest mindfuck. Dating someone like him doesn’t just happen. There are many different layers that you need to peel off before you get to his core, and you can finally say, this is it. We’re dating and together. I’d like to think that I’m the only one who has gotten close to that core, but I’m not sure that’s something to be proud of, considering my sanity these days.
I swing my door open and step out to the cool night, chills snapping over my skin. It’s freezing and my clothes are still damp. Nate beeps his car alarm and we make our way up the stairs to the front door. He kicks it closed and I instantly remove his hoodie, wanting to get rid of the heavy, wet garment that’s itching against my skin.
“Oh,” Elena sighs, her shoulders sagging. Her face falls as she swipes the unshed tears from her cheeks. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be rude. It’s so nice to see you, Tillie, sweetheart, it’s just I thought you were Madison.”
Nate slowly places his keys into his pocket, his eyes fixated on his mother.
“It’s okay. I’m sorry, Elena. I will help as much as I can.” I try to comfort her, but she looks distraught.
Her eyes find mine. It’s the first time that I take in her appearance. She’s usually glowing, (probably from all those nasty green shakes she drinks), and her body so trim and fit. But I look at her right now and it looks like she hasn’t had a meal in weeks and her eyes have wrinkles around the edges that suggests she’s been straining to keep them open, fighting sleep. When I notice the dark circles under her eyes, it only further solidifies my suspicion.
She tightens her cardigan around her body. “I’ll go back to sleep.” She has lost so much too over the last few months. It wasn’t just Nate and me who lost Micaela, it was all those around her too, especially Elena, and now Madison has disappeared.
“Wait!” I say, stepping forward.
Elena turns to face me. “Yes?”
I lift the bag of hot Chinese food. “Please eat with us?”
Her face softens, a small smile on her mouth. “I wouldn’t want to impose…”
“Mom,” Nate growls, and I cut him a glare to soften his damn voice.