“So when is it?” I ask, looking back to Carter and letting him lead me to the table where Tatum is sitting.
“Next weekend.” He surprises me by sitting beside us at the table, a couple of his friends who were waiting for him at theirs following suit, scattering themselves around our group.
“What’s next weekend?” Tatum asks, peeling off her yogurt lid.
“Camping!” I answer her cheerfully, knowing full well she’s going to scold me.
She kicks me under the table. “Great! Should be fun.”
I laugh, taking another bite out of my apple, and go back to ignoring Bishop. That is, until Nate comes to our table, leaning down and grinning at me, right before winking at Tatum. “Hey, sis, you need a ride after school?”
I nod happily, wiping my mouth. “Yeah, thanks.” He nods too, a small smile coming onto his mouth, and then he goes to push off the table and walk away. “Wait!” I holler, and he stops, turning back to face me. Nudging my thumb to Carter, I say, “Carter invited us to this camping trip this weekend. You wanna come with?”
“What, you think you can take my new baby sister without me, fucker?” Nate grins at Carter, but the grin isn’t the playful one Nate usually displays. This one is edgy, filled with warning bells and sirens. Nate continues to walk backward. “Of course we’ll be there.” Then he turns and goes back to where he was. Great. I could cut the tension in the air between these two.
I look at Carter, searching his eyes. “Hey,” I prompt, shoving his arm. I can’t be mad at Carter. He’s done nothing but make me feel wanted every time he’s around me. He looks back at me, his frown slowly disappearing. “You okay?”
He smiles. “Of course.”
“Is there something I should know between you guys?” I search his eyes, his breath a mere centimeter away from me. If he leaned forward, he could kiss me. Please don’t. I like Carter, but I think I’ve put him in the friend zone without knowing it.
“Yeah,” he whispers, his eyes falling onto my lips.
Oh no. Oh no, oh no.
Standing to my feet quickly, I tell him, “Great!” and pick up my tray.
“You didn’t eat much.” He points down to my food, and I pause, looking back up to Bishop to see Ally sitting beside him now, not on him. Progress, I suppose, but I still hate him. I drag my eyes away from Bishop and smile down at Carter. “Sort of lost my appetite.” Then I take my tray and walk toward the doors, emptying my trash and placing it onto the table.
Tatum runs up behind me. “Hey!” She takes my hand but I pull away from her, picking up my run. I’m not used to being around so many people, or even so many people being interested in me and my life. It’s all starting to overwhelm me, and I’m confused about Bishop and his mind games.
Why would he just leave? Was I not good enough?
Of course you weren’t! You’re a disgusting little girl who likes to do bad things.
My eyes shut as I attempt to push the ugly voice out of my head. It’s been a long time since I’ve heard that voice, and I don’t know what triggered hearing it today, but there it is. Opening my eyes, I see the bathrooms and run toward them, ignoring Tatum cursing behind me. My tears partly blind me, and the blue sign that shows it’s the girls’ bathroom looks all distorted and warped. I push through the door and fly into one of the stalls, slamming it closed and sliding the lock over. A second later, the door opens again.
“Madi?” Tatum whispers. “Can you talk to me?”
I’ve begun to like these people. Nate and Tatum, and maybe Hunter, anyway. I’m not sure about the rest of the Kings. Carter, too, he’s not bad. But it’s overwhelming. I’ve never had so many people show they give a fuck so much. I can’t help but think this is all some sort of sick game. Why did Nate and Bishop take me that night? What did they mean when they said games, and why did they stop? Why? So many questions, it’s making my head swim in confusion.
“Madi, talk to me, babe,” Tatum whispers, leaning her head on the other side of the stall. “What happened?”
It’s not Bishop and Ally who even triggered this, or triggered the voice. It’s my own insecurities from my fucked up past. A past I’ve lived with on my own with fears of stressing my father out so close after my mother’s death. But I blurt out Bishop anyway, because that’s the easiest of the two to talk about, and it’s believable.
“I slept with Bishop.”
She sucks in a breath. “Well, I can’t say I’m that surprised. So you’re upset about him and Ally?”