“The rope isn’t sexual for you.” A thought strikes me. I fear the answer, but I have to ask. “Is it about Cree? Are you into guys?”
“No.” Rocco narrows his eyes, looking confused. “Not like that.”
“So, it’s not about Cree.”
“I guess not.”
“What is it about?”
“Peace.”
“Peace?”
“Yeah. When I’m tied up, I can’t move or do anything. I don’t think. I just...I’m just there.”
“Why do you like that feeling?”
“Because”—Rocco scowls for a moment—“because I don’t like what’s in my head.”
I consider asking him just what’s in his head that he wants to forget, but I’m not sure the timing is right. Besides, I have a far more pressing question, and I need to get to it.
“Is it all right that it is sexual for me?”
“It is?”
“I’m a Domme, Roc. So yeah, having you tied up and at my mercy is definitely sexual for me.”
Rocco’s face tightens up. I’m not sure if his expression is thoughtful or frightened. I reach out and place my hand lightly on his arm.
“I’m not saying I’d hurt you, Roc. I wouldn’t. Not ever. I just like being in control.”
“Why?”
“Because,” I say with a laugh, “I’m a fucking train wreck.”
Rocco looks at me sideways. Apparently, he doesn’t see the humor in my comment.
“I just like being the one holding the cards,” I tell him. “I’m uncomfortable with guys having all the control.”
“I don’t think I have much control over anything,” he replies quietly.
“How do you feel about that?”
“I don’t know.”
“Do you like giving up control?”
“I like being in rope. I guess I’m not in control then.”
“What about with other stuff?” I ask. “Do you like being the one in control in a relationship?”
He shrugs, and I can’t tell if he’s being intentionally obtuse or if he really isn’t grasping what I mean. Sometimes, straightforward is the best approach.
“I don’t want to just tie you, Roc. I want a relationship with you. Specifically, I want you to sub for me. I want you to be mine and mine alone. In return, I’m going to take care of you in all the ways no one ever has before.”
“You want to have sex.”
His bluntness surprises me.