“No, it’s fine.”
“Lousy liar.” Casey laughs. “If it means that much to you, I’ll think about it. I have never cared for the whole ‘boyfriend-girlfriend’ terminology, but I’ll consider it. Does that work for you?”
I nod, still unsure. Apparently, the gesture isn’t enough because Casey grabs hold of my chin and turns me to face her.
“Rocco, tell me what you’re thinking.”
“I...I don’t know the word for what we are.” I realize that I’m stammering over words about words and feel like an idiot. “I was trying to figure out the right words, but I don’t know them.”
“The words?”
“When...when I worked with a speech therapist, she told me that I had to use words to get my point across. She said if I didn’t get the words right, people would never understand me. I just...I don’t know the word.”
“The words to describe us? Why does it matter?”
“Maybe it doesn’t.” I sigh.
“You’re mine,” Casey says, “and I’m yours. As far as I’m concerned, that’s enough. Other people’s opinions about us are not the sort of thing that will keep me up at night.”
I take in a long breath and shudder when I release it. My head starts to spin a little. I have no doubt that this is just the kind of thing that would cause me sleeplessness.
“I’ll think about it, Rocco. I promise I will.”
“Okay.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.” I try to smile a little.
“Good boy.” Casey leans in and presses her lips to mine. She moves her hand from my chin to run her fingers over the side of my face and into my hair.
I close my eyes and give in, letting her lead. I like letting her lead. Maybe I need to remember that and not worry about what we call ourselves. She’s my Domme—my leader. Just like she said, I don’t have to tell anyone else anything at all.
“Roc?” Casey pulls away, looking at me intently.
“Yeah?”
“I’m glad you trusted me with your story. That means a lot to me. I know talking about that was really hard for you, and I’m honored that you decided to tell me more about you. I want to know everything.”
I realize that I’ve told Casey far more than I’ve told anyone outside of Cree. Even the professionals who have attempted to work with me got most of the information about my past from files, not me. I wasn’t sure how Casey would react to it, but I’m glad I managed to get it all out.
“I’m glad you told me about you, too,” I reply. “It was hard to hear, though.”
“Yeah, I know. Thanks for not treating me differently after I told you.”
“Is that what most people do?”
“Oh yeah, totally. I’ve had a dozen so-called friends never speak to me again after I’ve told them. They go from ‘Let’s hang out this weekend’ to crossing the street when they see me coming. If I’m lucky, I’ll get a polite wave.”
“I always worry about how people will think of me if I tell them,” I say. “I already feel like a freak, and having people know why...that just seems worse.”
“You’re not a freak.”
“Really?” I chuckle. “I grew up in a tunnel.”
“Well, if that makes you a freak, then I’m definitely a freak too. It’s a good thing we’re in the kind of place that welcomes freaks, or they’d kick us right out of here.”
As if on cue, the atmosphere changes abruptly.