“You will?”
“Yeah. I fuck up sometimes. I can live up to that. It’s all part of the same healing. I’ll tell Cree about my past, and I’ll apologize to both of them if you want.”
“You...you don’t have to,” Rocco says. “I mean, not for me.”
“I would do it for you regardless,” I tell him, “but it won’t just be for you. It will help me, too.”
“You really think so?”
“Yeah, I do.” I sigh as I lean back a little, stroking Rocco’s hair again. The texture is so soft, and I feel calmer when I touch it. “Besides, it sets a good example.”
“It does?”
“Yeah. If I can show you how it’s done, maybe you’ll consider trying to talk about what happened to you. Start taking some of those little steps.”
“Not even sure where I’d start,” Rocco says. “Cree already knows, and Kas...I don’t want Kas to think about me like that.”
“Forget her,” I say quickly. “I want you to think of yourself first.”
Rocco shakes his head slowly.
“Tell me something,” I say as I shift around a bit so I can better look him in the eye. “Do you want English to be your major?”
“It makes the most sense, I guess. I have a lot of credits, and my grades are better in those classes.”
“Then I think we should get your major declared.”
“Maybe.”
“I’m catching on to you, Rocco.”
“What does that mean?”
“When you say ‘maybe’ you mean ‘no.’”
“Oh.”
“I’m serious, Roc. Declaring a major would be a great first step for you.”
“I just...I don’t think I can go in there and...” Rocco pauses again, frustrated. “They’ll ask me questions about why it took so long, and I won’t know what to say, and I’ll freak. The dean isn’t going to approve my major if I go running out of her office.”
“Well, maybe we can get around that somehow.”
“You have to go in person. I checked.”
“Well, maybe...” I tap my finger on my chin, trying to come up with a way Rocco could get his point across without having to actually talk about it. He did say he did well on written tests. Maybe that’s the key. “What if you wrote a letter?”
“A letter? But that’s not in person.”
“It is if you hand-deliver it. We write up a letter explaining why you have trouble speaking, and we give it to the dean to read. You wouldn’t have to go into great detail, and you can even include that you can answer some yes or no questions. Of course, I’d go with you.”
“You would?”
“Yes. Absolutely.”
“Would you help me write it?”
“Every word. We can write it tomorrow and then see the dean on Monday.”