I smile and my stomach turns somersaults as a realization hits me regarding why I’m so attracted to this woman. Aerin is very well educated, possibly more so than I, and I haven’t encountered anyone like her since I left the capital city. Naughts aren’t stupid—far from it—but they don’t have the deeper educational knowledge I possess, and I have to hide that aspect of myself from them. I have to hide who I am, what I know, and where I came from.
I don’t have to hide from Aerin.
She already knows my true identity. She knows my background and my heritage. She has at least some knowledge about why I left the capital though I haven’t disclosed the details to her. Certainly, some of my activities I wouldn’t want her to know, but I feel like I could tell her more—I could reveal everything about myself to her—and she wouldn’t turn against me. In time, I could share everything with her.
Well, maybe not everything, but almost.
Along with this realization, I also want to know everything about her. Did she get all this geological knowledge from her mother, or did she study it as well? What happened to her father, and what does she hope to accomplish by collecting her samples and delivering them back to the capital? Does she want me to go back with her? Could I even consider it if she asked?
Yeah, I could. Going back to the capital after all these years is terrifying, but I know I’ll never let her go back alone. Getting in isn’t any easier than getting out, and she’ll need help. Once she does get inside, she’ll need someone with first-hand knowledge to support her claims.
I stand up and hold my hand out dramatically to help Aerin to her feet.
“Let’s go find the power source!” I say with a bright smile.
Chapter 13
Aerin and I return to the efficiency apartment to start our search for the power source of the Rock Mountain complex. We examine the walls, ceiling, and floor but find no access points anywhere near the area.
“I’m sure the source is below us,” Aerin says. “Nothing else makes sense. The access point is somewhere, and we’re just going to have to do a grid search to find it.”
“How do we do that?” I ask.
Aerin lays her map out on the table and leans over it.
“The map I have isn’t great, but it’s a starting point. We section it off, add anything not on it, and go through it section by section until we find something. We could cover more ground if we split up.”
“But we only have one flashlight,” I say. Though the observation is completely accurate, I also don’t want to be away from her. “I think we’re stuck with each other.”
“True enough.” She doesn’t look up from the map. “I think we should start here in the corridor just outside this room and spiral our way out.”
“Can we start after dinner?” I ask with a smile. “I’m famished.”
“We should probably get a good night’s sleep as well,” Aerin says. “Our chances of missing something will be far greater if we’re tired. We can start in the morning.”
“It’s a plan.”
Aerin volunteers to cook while I take a turn in the bathroom. When I return to the main room, I’m greeted by warm, inviting scents of tomatoes and garlic.
“I found some dry pasta in the back of the cabinet,” Aerin says. “I tried to make sauce for it, but I’m not sure it turned out that well.”
“It smells fantastic!”
“Thanks!” Aerin smiles as she places plates on the table, and we sit down.
We eat in relative silence. My mind is overflowing with everything I learned today, but I also can’t stop thinking about how, underneath the small table, Aerin’s knee is just a couple of inches from mine. I think I can feel the heat of her skin right through our clothing, but I’m probably just imagining it. Every time she shifts toward me, I tense, hoping she’ll accidentally brush against me, but she doesn’t.
I close my eyes for a second and try to get a grip so I can focus on the real problem at hand. I’m still in shock from what I saw from the mountaintop, and I am unable to process it all. Logically, I get it—there is no more land to the west—but emotionally I can’t quite cope.
I keep seeing the faces of all the people I sent to the West. I keep thinking about how I looked them in the eyes and said they were going to be all right. I remember loading farming equipment, food supplies, and general tools onto carts to be transported along with them.
Would my father really go through such a ruse in order to get rid of Naughts without a fuss? Would he use me like that?
“Are you okay?”
I startle, not realizing Aerin had stood up from the table and is now standing beside me. For a moment, I just look up at her blankly, then manage to collect myself.
“Just trying to understand it all.” I try to smile, but it probably looks as forced as it feels.