“The…um…bones and shit.”
“I buried them,” she answered simply.
My head snapped back to look at her.
“You did? Where?”
“On the north side of the beach,” she said. “Up near the edge of the jungle. I didn’t really want them very close. I used the oar to dig a hole – just like we did for the solar still. I didn’t dig it deep enough to…um…bury them all, and they…they didn’t all fit in one…um…grave…so I dug two.”
“Shit, baby – I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“You shouldn’t have had to do that.” I murder four bastards and she has to clean up after me. Fucking lovely.
“I didn’t want them…just sitting there. You weren’t in very good shape at the time to help out.”
“I know – that’s what I meant.”
“Stop it.”
“Stop what?”
“Stop beating yourself up for something you couldn’t control.” Raine tilted her head and raised her eyebrows, daring me to argue with her.
“I could have controlled it,” I said, rising to the challenge. “I shouldn’t have let that motherfucker cut me.”
“Bastian, there were four of them.”
“It doesn’t fucking matter how many there were!” I yelled. I didn’t really mean to be yelling at her, but she jumped back anyway. Images from my dreams flittered past my conscious mind. I slammed my fist against the sand and wished to God I had a fucking bottle of fucking anything. “I should have moved faster. I should have killed him with the first fucking punch. I should have ripped his goddamn throat out for fucking touching you, and I should have fucking been there when they showed up so none of that shit would have happened at all!”
She was beside me before I was done screaming, and at first I considered pushing her away. I wanted to because I didn’t deserve to have her next to me in the first place. I’d let her down. She could have been killed or had something far, far worse happen. I fucking let her down. I wasn’t there for her. The last thing she should offer me was any comfort. I wasn’t there when she needed me.
But there she was, kneeling in the sand next to me and wrapping her arms around my head, holding me against her chest while she stroked the side of my face with her fingertips. I squeezed my eyes shut and wrapped my arms around her. I buried my face in the spot between her neck and her shoulder.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there,” I mumbled. “I should have been there. They never should have touched you. I’ll never, never let anyone hurt you again, Raine. I swear to God. Never!”
“Shh, Bastian.” Raine’s hand stroked over my hair, around my ear, and down my rough jaw. “It’s all right. I’m all right, and you will be, too. You saved me, Bastian. You saved me from them.”
“They…they…” I swallowed hard, trying to figure out why words wouldn’t come out of my mouth. My hands were shaking, so I held her tighter, trying to stop the rush of adrenaline running through my system, but it didn’t help. My heart rate increased, and I was close to hyperventilating. Through pants, I pushed out some words, but I probably didn’t make any fucking sense. “They never…they shouldn’t have come so close to you…I’m sorry…I’m sorry…I should have been there faster. I never…should have left you…those fucking bastards fucking touching you…”
“Bastian, please, calm down,” her voice whispered into my ear. “I’m okay. You saved me. They didn’t hurt me, Bastian. You were there in time.”
“But it was so close…I keep seeing them…in my dreams…and they’re…they’re…hurting you, and I can’t get to you.”
“Oh, Bastian…” I felt both her arms wrap around my head as she started to rock slightly back and forth, telling me over and over again that it was only a dream. She was safe. I had saved her. They hadn’t touched her like that.
“I want you,” I breathed against her skin. “I need you…please, Raine…”
Everything was blurred, and I wasn’t even sure how she managed to strip off her shorts so quickly and without letting go of me. My hands grasped at her back, holding her against my chest as much as I could. I felt her hand releasing the buttons on my shorts, which she pushed down just far enough to be out of the way. A moment later she was pushing against my shoulders until I lay on my back in the sand. She straddled me, gripped my cock by the base, and guided me into her.
We hadn’t been like this before – with her on top of me. I preferred her under me with me in control. I don’t know why – I just did. We hadn’t even tried it any other way. This was…different…and as soon as my shoulders hit the ground, I felt a shift in my head, and I went with it. My eyes closed as her body enveloped me, and I let my mind go blank so I could just feel. I felt her flesh, her warm breath, and the deeper, internal connection that had nothing to do with the placement of our bodies. I felt my desire for her, and I felt her love for me as she leaned forward and ran h
er hands over my shoulders and neck before fingering my jaw line. I felt everything as I let her take me – mind, body and soul. I didn’t know if she wanted it or needed it like I did, but I gave it to her anyway.
I lay my head back and placed my hands on her hips and let her set the pace as she raised herself up just enough for me to slip out of her about halfway. Then she brought our bodies back together, burying me in her warmth. I didn’t know how long she moved on top of me, owning me on a deeper level every time she brought me inside of her, but by the time I released into her, I was completely spent in more ways than I could possibly name.
* * * * *