“You are killing me here,” I mutter as I stare at my hands. They’re starting to shake a little.
“Just trying to be honest.”
I sigh. I’m still trying to picture myself jerking off with her standing over there, watching me. Though my cock seems to be very interested in the notion, I can’t quite see myself doing it. It’s one thing to be up against the wall of the balcony where I know no one can see what I’m doing and something entirely different to be standing there in the open, dick waving around in the breeze for any other quarantined person to look around and see.
“It’s okay,” Kendra says. “I can tell it’s making you uncomfortable.”
“I just…well, I’ve never thought about it, I guess.”
“You haven’t done much experimentation before.” Her words are a statement
, not a question.
“Never been that adventurous, I guess.”
“I just…I really want to touch you. I thought maybe seeing you…never mind. Sorry. I’m pushing too hard.”
“It’s all right, really. You might just want to give me a few minutes to catch up with you.” I laugh, but she turns away from me, her jaw tight.
“I need…” Kendra crosses her arms over her chest, tightly gripping her upper arms with her hands. “Fuck this.”
“Kendra! What’s wrong?”
She turns back toward me, eyes hard and teeth clenched.
“I need to feel someone else, Sean! I can’t fucking stand it anymore! I haven’t touched anyone in so fucking long, and now…now I think if I don’t, I just…I just…”
Her voice cracks and her shoulders slump. She turns away from me again but not before I see the tears.
“Hey…don’t cry.”
“I can’t help it!” She turns back to me, tears streaming down her face. “I can’t stand this! Do you know how long it’s been since I even felt someone else touch me? Do you have any idea?”
“Yeah, I do. Of course I do.”
“My skin feels like it’s trying to jump right off of my body. I thought maybe seeing you would help, but it was probably a stupid idea. It’s not enough. It’s never going to be enough!”
She turns away, hands over her face as she sobs. I reach out a hand but quickly put it back down again. What am I supposed to do? I don’t have any words to soothe her. I know exactly how she’s feeling, and there’s nothing I can do about it.
Is there?
I examine the balcony railing, the wall the separates us, and I have an idea.
“Kendra?” I move myself to the edge of the balcony, facing the sliding glass door. With my butt up against the rail, I push myself up until I’m sitting, somewhat precariously, on the rail. Pressing one hand to the cement wall to give myself a little more stability, I stretch my arm out as far as it will go. “Reach over here, babe.”
“Sean, you’re going to fall!”
“No, I won’t. You won’t either. Just be careful. Don’t lean back, but lean against the wall instead, like I am. Don’t look down.”
Kendra moves slowly until she’s mimicking my position on the balcony rail. With her face pressed against the cement, she stretches out her arm. A moment later, the tips of our fingers touch. I press against the wall, leaning as much as I dare, and wrap the tops of my fingers around hers.
She lets out a long, shuddering sigh.
“Better?” I ask.
“Yes,” she whispers.
“You’re not alone,” I say to her. “We’re in this together, okay?”