“You won’t even admit it.” Yolanda continued to push.
I sighed and leaned back to look up at my trainer and friend.
“For the final fucking time, Yolanda,” I said, “it is not like that with us. It shouldn’t be like that for her anyway.”
“Like what?” Yolanda asked. She tilted her head to one side and waited for me to give her a better answer. I thought it was fucking obvious.
“What she needs is not what I have to offer,” I said. “Even if she were interested in me, she wouldn’t be interested in the dead-end life around here. She’s in school, trying to make something of herself. She’s a transient. She’s not looking for a fuck buddy, and I’d never get involved with someone seriously, so what difference does it make?”
Yolanda seemed to think about that for a minute before she took a couple of swift steps closer to me, kicked the bag out of the way, and stood right between my legs. She shoved at my shoulder until I was sitting upright again. With her standing and me sitting, she was just slightly above my eye level.
“Look at me!” she said sharply. Like I usually did when it came to her barking, I obeyed immediately. “You look at me and tell me you aren’t into her. Tell me you don’t want to be fucking her like a goddamn stud bull. Say if given the chance, you wouldn’t take her in a heartbeat. Tell me her cooking fucking pancakes didn’t make you hard as hell. Go ahead. I dare you.”
I swallowed as I tried to hold her gaze. I couldn’t even win the staring contest, let alone speak any of those words without my tongue falling right out of my face.
“Yeah, I didn’t think so.” Yolanda stepped back. “Are you lying to yourself, too, or just me?”
I shook my head briefly.
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “I was serious, though—it’s not like that. She’s not looking for a fuck buddy, and I’m not going to get involved with someone, so what difference does it make?”
“Why not?”
“Why not what?”
“Why not get involved?” Yolanda asked.
My skin went cold.
Every muscle tensed at once.
I stopped breathing.
My eyes clouded over with images of blood and meat and…
“Why not?” I repeated. A moment later I was on my feet and shoving her backwards. For once in her life, Yolanda had the good sense to back away from me as I started screaming. “Why not? Why not? Are you fucking kidding me? You of all people? How the fuck can you just stand there and ask me why not?”
“Easy, Teague,” she said. Her eyes were wary, but honestly, the little explosion was already having an effect on me, calming me. She started to take a step forward, but I shook my head sharply and she stopped.
“It’s ancient history,” she said quietly.
“That doesn’t change anything.” My voice was hard, cold, and barely recognizable as mine. I backed up slowly, watching her stand perfectly still as I did. Once I sat back down on the bench, I let out a long breath.
She looked down at me, and her eyes changed slightly. They softened a little and looked somewhat sad. She took a step backwards as she continued to look down at me and then let out a long sigh.
“Maybe it’s time for you to take a chance again,” she said quietly before turning around and walking out of the showers.
I was never one to change my opinion, but Yolanda certainly gave me something to think about.
Chapter 12—Admit the Reality
“You want me to go with you?” Tria asked quietly. There was hesitation in her voice, but I didn’t understand why.
“Yeah, why not?” I asked. “I mean, it beats hanging out here all night, right?”
Yolanda’s words had been bothering me all afternoon. It was rare for her to ever make a comment about any woman who might be in my life though the vast majority of those didn’t last past round two. I had spent a lot of time trying to figure out what her angle was and why she seemed to be pushing me toward the young woman who was—in a thousand different ways—way too good to get messed up in my life.
She had promise. She had potential. She had a future.