“I can refuse, Alexandra,” she said at one point. “I can tell them I will not do it.”
“Yes, Hadley, you can,” I told her. “This is a choice you should not make lightly. If you find the idea abhorrent, then do not take part. Even if Edgar threatens to cast you out into the street, you will still have a home here. But know that if you do not take up this position, then another will. You have choices in the matter, but I do not. I must provide my husband with an heir, no matter what the conditions.”
“What would happen to me?” she asked. “He would…take me? As he would you?”
“I don’t believe it would be the same, no,” I said quietly. “But he would not hurt you. He would be gentle.”
“Do you want me to do this, Alexandra?” Hadley asked. “Do you want me to…to bear a child…for you?”
“I must let someone do this for me,” I said, though I could barely hear my own voice. “If I have to choose someone, I would prefer it be you. You have always been like my own sister, if I had had one, and if anyone has to bear Branford’s child when I cannot, I want it to be you.”
Hadley’s deep eyes widened, and she looked at me for a long time before she seemed to make a decision.
“I will do this, Alexandra,” she said. “For you, my sister.”
Our arms were around each other again, and even though there were tears in our eyes, they were not entirely due to sadness. We sat for some time before a slight knock at the door startled me, and I opened it to find Janet, her face grave as she looked from me to Hadley.
“Is there anything I could do for you?” she asked quietly. “I have asked for supper to be brought to your room in an hour, but is there anything you need before then? I could make you tea.”
“Thank you, Janet,” I said. I took a deep breath and looked at Hadley, who sat with her face still in her hands. “I think that would be most welcome.”
Janet moved to the fire to prepare the tea, and I sat next to Hadley again. Her tears had slowed but not completely stopped, and I offered her a handkerchief to wipe her face.
“Lady Hadley?” Janet stepped in front of us with her head bowed. Hadley paled when she heard herself addressed in such a way. “I made this for you as well. Lady Alexandra drinks it in the mornings, and it can help calm a person.”
Janet proffered a cup to Hadley with a bright smile. I recognized the scent of my morning tea and was glad Janet thought to give the same to Hadley. I nodded to her, and Hadley took the steaming cup from Janet’s hands.
“Thank you, um…Janet,” Hadley said. She took a sip, and her brow furrowed. “The taste is unusual.”
“It takes a little getting used to,” I told her with a smile, “but I quite enjoy it now. I can’t imagine how my days would be without it.”
She took another sip and leaned back in the seat. We spoke quietly for some time about the more mundane topic of what she would need to bring with her from Hadebrand. It was not long before a messenger came to collect her for the journey back to Hadebrand to say goodbye to her home.
As soon as I was able, I sought out the Queen of Silverhelm. I called for her as I entered the garden, being sure to step carefully over the slippery, snow-covered path. I found her quickly.
“Alexandra?” Sunniva’s soft voice floated over the bare trees in the garden, and I looked up to see her tighten her cloak around herself as she approached. I walked up to her, and she waved her hand at me and told me to sit down. She took the spot beside me, and her arm immediately went around me. I took a deep breath, and I lay my forehead against her shoulder.
“I have…questions,” I said.
“I am sure you do,” she replied with a nod.
“Where will she stay?”
“I will prepare a room for her,” Sunniva stated. “It will be on the other side of the castle from your rooms.”
“Branford will…take her there?”
“He…he will,” she said quietly. I nodded.
“What will she do when she is not…performing her duties? Will she be required to be at his side?”
“Not at all,” Sunniva said. “You are still Branford’s wife in every other way imaginable. You will still hold your position in the court, and you will be at Branford’s side as you have been. Even when the child is born, he will be considered your son, not hers.”
“Once she has given us a child, what will become of her?”
“The station of former concubine in this sort of situation is still very well-regarded. She would remain here in Silverhelm as long as she wished. She could become another handmaid to you or a nursemaid to your children.”
“She may have more than one?”