Branford did not return to our rooms for some time. When he did, his mood was foul. I knew it was her doing and tried to get him to speak of it with me. He all but refused, stating there was nothing new to discuss.
“I only wish to know what you are thinking,” I told him, “and feeling.”
“Nothing has changed,” he replied. “Edgar threatens me, Whitney annoys me, and the court waivers on what action they wish me to take. With Lord William here supporting me, it is easier, but I wish Parnell would return from Seacrest. He has been there a week now, and I hoped he would be back with…news.”
“Which news is this?”
Branford shook his head, his lips clamped tight together. He looked around us and raised his hands to the air and his eyes to the ceiling in frustration.
“You will not tell me,” I said softly.
“I cannot tell you,” he said through clenched teeth. “Not here. Not now.”
“You said you would. You said you would not shut me out.”
“I will not,” he replied. “When the time is right, I will tell you. When I know there is no one else listening, I will tell you everything.”
His gaze danced to the door and back to me again. It had become an almost automatic response whenever we spoke. Too many spies had been discovered within the castle walls though none close to the royal chambers. I had to wonder if he did not use his own paranoia as an excuse to keep me from worrying.
“You keep saying that,” I said, “but it has yet to come to pass. You are still keeping me at a distance. You do not tell me your thoughts.”
I tried to keep the emotion from my voice, but I was not completely successful. He reached up to cup my face as he looked down at me. His mouth covered mine, and the warmth of his lips made me feel safe again as it always did. I knew he did it to distract me though that did not hinder its effectiveness.
“What must I do to prove it to you?” he asked after a few minutes. “There are some things I cannot speak of if I am not sure we cannot be heard.”
“Tell me how often you think of me.” I made my request through persistent kisses.
“Always,” he replied.
“When?”
“Yesterday, when I was teaching young Stephens to use his shield as a weapon. I was distracted because I was thinking of the first time I took you to the meadow and the sounds you made when I touched you. And that led me to think of the last time we were there, when you cried out so loudly all the pheasants took flight.”
I looked up into his eyes and there was no doubt in my mind he spoke the truth.
“Thank you.” I wrapped my arms around his shoulders.
“Is that what you need? To hear these words from me?”
“Yes.”
“You are everything…in my every thought…”
“Could we go there again?” I asked.
“To the meadow?” Branford frowned. “I do not know if that is wise…”
“Why would it not be?” I asked.
“I do not wish for you to worry,” he replied.
“Branford”—I sighed and tilted my head as I looked up into his face, but he refused to meet me with his eyes—“you promised me. Do not hide things from me any longer.”
He closed his eyes for a moment and then opened them to find mine. His mouth turned up slightly and his hand came up to brush across my lips.
“As you wish, my queen,” he said quietly. “Shall we go in the afternoon?”
*****