“I do not know what else you need from me,” Branford said. “Beyond the physical, I am ill-informed, but I will learn if you will teach me.”
“I will tell you,” I said, “if you will allow it and not reject me again.”
“Never,” he said with certainty, and his lips brushed timidly across mine. He looked at me then, and I could see the questions forming in his eyes. “Does it really…please you…to care for me?”
“It does,” I replied with a nod.
“Will you bathe me, Alexandra?”
I smiled up and him and took him by the hand to the washbasin. I warmed his bathing water as he removed his shirt and replaced his trousers with those he slept in. I washed his arms, chest, and back before changing into my own sleeping gown as he drank the tea I made for him.
He was already in our bed as I approached, and I was feeling strangely shy as I had in the first days of our marriage. He smiled up at me, and I could feel his own hesitation as I took my place at his side, and he enveloped me softly in his arms.
“You feel so good against me,” he said as he kissed the top of my head. I rested my cheek over his heart. “It feels right to have you here.”
“I was here while you were not,” I said quietly, hating my own words because I knew they would cause him pain. “I was waiting for you.”
I felt his body stiffen.
“Is it too late?” Branford asked in a breathy voice. “Have I hurt you too much? Alexandra…have I already lost your heart?”
I reached for his rough cheek, and my fingers caressed his skin.
“No, my Branford,” I whispered to him, and he squeezed his eyes shut as he let out a held breath. I could see his throat bob as he swallowed before opening his eyes to me again.
“I love you,” he told me, “more than anything, ever. I never, ever wished to hurt you as I have. I am an utter fool, my wife, but I never meant you harm—I swear it.”
“I know,” I replied. I felt warm wetness on my cheeks as my tears escaped.
He moved his head closer, approaching me slowly with questioning eyes. I nodded slightly, and he covered my mouth with his. Our lips moved slowly against each other’s, and when his tongue touched my mouth, I opened to him. He groaned into me, and his arms wrapped slowly and tightly around me.
With a quick roll, I found myself supine beneath his body.
He continued to kiss at my collarbones as he deftly untied the laces down my front. I lifted myself from the bed as he slowly pulled the garment from my body, his eyes taking in the sight of me. He rose up on his knees and quickly rid himself of his own clothing. I heard it drop to the floor beside our bed, and Branford positioned himself on top of me with his weight supported by his hand beside my head. He kissed me deeply again on the mouth, then trailed kisses up my jaw and down my throat.
“I have missed this so much.” He breathed against the skin of my neck. “Missed you so much…”
I reached up and placed my hands on his cheeks.
“I love you,” I told him. “Always.”
Supporting himself on one hand, he gathered both of my hands in his free one. Branford kissed my fingers—each in turn—then laid my hands at my sides as he started using his mouth and hands on my breasts, then my stomach, and then the curve around to my hips. The feeling of his fingers over my body was indescribable, and as he moved toward my center, my breath hitched and my heart began to pound.
The warmth of his mouth on me made me shiver, the sensations rising up through my body until I gasped. His tongue circled around, then dipped lower, pushing inside of me as he tasted from my body. He moved his fingers up and down between my legs and then focused at the apex, circling in a slow, steady rhythm.
The muscles in my legs tensed, and I reached for his head. He ran his tongue up and circled the spot where his fingers had played, and I felt him reach inside me, moving gracefully and penetrating me deeply. As his fingers curled upward, he pushed down with his tongue and sucked at me as I came undone around him, crying out his name.
I could feel his smile as he kissed up my body. His fingers slipped from inside of me and spread moisture throughout my folds. The tip of him pressed solidly against my opening, and he pushed slowly with his hips.
I was surprised at how he stretched me as he entered—my body resistant to the intrusion it had not felt in so long. He moved slowly, gently filling me until I felt him inside of me completely.
“Are you all right?” Branford asked softly with his lips pressed to my ear. “You feel so tight around me…”
“Yes…please…more…” It was all I could manage to mutter in reply.
He obliged and began his slow movements in and out of me, creating the friction my body desired as he moaned softly into my hair. I wrapped my arms tightly around his back, and my hips rose up to meet his thrusts, rising partway off the mattress as I strained to touch more of him. This is what I had missed—not the act itself or the pleasure it brought but the feeling of the way he gave himself to me completely as I gave my heart and soul to him.
With my head tossed backwards, I cried out for my husband as my body shook and trembled in ecstasy. His long fingers stroked over my shoulders and breasts as his mouth tasted my skin over and over again. I felt the tension in his broad shoulders as his movements inside of me quickened, and his eyes closed as he filled me deeply. He was still for a moment, and then his arms seemed to give out as he collapsed on top of me.