“Queen Sunniva prepared me,” Hadley said. “She dressed me in strange clothing—like nothing I had ever seen on a woman or a man. It covered all of me, save…one small area. Even my face was draped with a sheer mask.”
I nodded.
“She also…put something on me,” Hadley said, and I saw the pink tinge in her cheek as her voice dropped lower. “In me, really. It was slippery, but I don’t know what it was. She told me to turn my head to the side and think of my duty to you, to Sir Branford, and to Silverhelm, and then she left.”
“And Branford then came to you?” I asked. I did not want to prolong the conversation that had my stomach tied in knots.
“Yes,” she said with a nod. Hadley lowered her eyes to the ground and took a deep breath. I was sure she knew what I both wanted and did not want to hear.
“Go on,” I said, encouraging her, but I could not stop the thickening of my voice. I swallowed hard and took Hadley’s hand. I tried not to let the cold feeling of dread creep its way up my arms.
“He could not…do anything,” she said quietly, “at first. He was…angry…and he frightened me. He left and then came back again, and he was calmer. I know I was not supposed to look at him, but it had been some time, and he had not touched me…”
Hadley glanced to my face.
“He was…touching himself with his eyes closed.” She shifted her body slightly on the couch and took a deep breath. “He did not approach until the last possible moment, and then he was very quickly done.”
I tried my best not to conjure up the images of my husband standing in the room across the castle, his long fingers wrapped around himself as he prepared to…
I shook my head to rid myself of the thoughts and tried to think more logically. I was asking these questions of Hadley to make sure she was all right, not to fulfill my own morbid curiosity, and part of her description was upsetting.
“He was harsh,” I said quietly.
“He was not harsh,” Hadley said softly. “I did not feel those pleasures you have described to me, but he was not rough. It did not hurt but for a moment.”
I nodded, and my emotions were torn. I was glad Branford had not hurt her unduly, but I was also glad he had not given her release. At the same time, I was sad for Hadley that she did not know the pleasure a man could bring to her.
I felt Hadley’s hand on my arm.
“He never touched me with his hands,” she said, and I could only assume she meant it to be reassuring when I had been hoping to be the one to reassure her. How ironic. I wondered if there was an objective observer who could determine which of us was most in need of comfort, but it occurred to me that it might not be either of us.
“Once there is a boy child,” I told her, “we shall make sure to find you a proper husband.”
I reached over to take her hand in mine, and Hadley tried to smile at me.
“If you see one of the unmarried soldiers, and you fancy him, you will let me know?”
Hadley’s cheeks reddened a little.
“You have already seen one you like?” I guessed.
She shrugged slightly, and the bright color came back into her cheeks.
“I do not actually know him,” she said, “but when he was practicing with Sir Branford, I thought him most pleasing to look upon. I do not even know his name or station.”
“When did you see him?”
“When Sir Branford was on the practice field with his soldiers this morning,” Hadley replied. “Samantha led me through the marketplace, and she pointed them out. The one that caught my eye wore a breastplate with a cross on the front of it. We only watched them for a moment.”
“That would have been Sir Brigham.”
“Sir Brigham,” she repeated softly. “He must be a true knight then, so I am sure there would be others better suited…”
“Hadley,” I interrupted, “was your status as a concubine not explained to you?”
“My lady?” she said softly, her eyes widening a little.
“Hadley, your service to Silverhelm does not go unrecognized,” I told her. “When your duty has been fulfilled, you would be quite suited for a knight.”