He huffed a breath out his nose and then continued.
“Dalton and Kolby were younger than Yagmur and Salik and usually kept close to me when I was out. They taught me the basics of sword fighting when I was quite young—archery, too, though I was never very good at it. Salik taught me to ride, and Yagmur lectured me constantly on the duties of a young lord and what would be expected of me as I came of age. In the years they were with us, they were like members of our family. It was like I had four extra fathers or maybe favorite uncles. I looked up to each and every one of them and went to bed every night, feeling secure that they were watching over us and keeping us safe.”
“My father trusted them implicitly,” Branford said. “I remember when Dalton was showing me just how good he was with a bow, and in his hand, my father held out an apple for Dalton to shoot. He split it in half, and we planted the seeds after we ate it. One of the trees still grows just outside Sterling Castle.”
“We had been on the road no more than a couple of hours—not even half the trip—when my father glanced out the window and called up to the driver. I don’t remember exactly what he said, only that he didn’t think we were on the right road any longer. He thought the driver had taken a wrong turn. I remember him calling out for Dalton and Salik—they were riding on his side of the carriage—and asking for an explanation.”
“The carriage started to slow down, and my mother said…”
Branford stopped, and I watched his hands ball into fists as his breathing became more labored.
“She said,” he went on, “that something didn’t feel right. She said she could hear more horses riding behind us.”
He paused. He slowly forced his fingers open and then rubbed his palms down the top of his thighs.
“The carriage slowed and then stopped. I could hear Yagmur telling my father he should come outside. He said they had things to discuss. My mother told him she didn’t like it. She said again that something wasn’t right. When my father went out, I heard him yelling at someone, asking whoever it was what he was doing there. Then Yagmur called for my mother to come out as well. I remember the look in her eyes. It was like she knew. I think she did know. She stood up and grabbed me by the arm immediately, hauling me to my feet. I started to complain—I didn’t understand what was going on—but she was frantic, speaking quietly but urgently into my ear. She told me not to speak—not to utter a single sound, no matter what. She made me swear to God I would be silent. The bench seat of the carriage could be lifted, and there was a storage area inside of it. My mother opened up the bench, and then she shoved me underneath, shutting the lid on top of me.
“I couldn’t hear well from inside
. I remember it was hot and cramped, but I didn’t move, and I didn’t make a sound. I heard voices—that of my father, yelling, and other voices I didn’t recognize. Then I heard my mother scream my father’s name, over and over again, and I had to remind myself she wasn’t calling for me. Then I heard laughter, and for a while, she was silent. I could hear talking, more laughing and other…sounds. I didn’t know what to make of it. I could hear her voice, but it was muffled. I knew she was crying, but I think she was just trying not to make any sounds. I think…I think she just didn’t want me to hear…to hear…”
Again he stopped, and his hands covered his face.
“I heard the door of the carriage open and Dalton and Kolby’s voices. They didn’t say much, just that there was nothing of value inside, and they needed to get moving quickly. Then I heard horses riding around the carriage and then riding off. They didn’t realize I was there, you see. They hadn’t seen me get inside the carriage. They believed me to have stayed home with my ill sister.”
“I don’t know how long I stayed there. Eventually, there were no more sounds, but I still didn’t move. My mother told me to stay, and I wasn’t going anywhere until she came to get me. I could tell when the sun set because the inside of the bench became black as pitch. I just lay there, trying to be as silent as I could—trying to obey my mother’s words. I probably dozed off for a while, but sometime in the night, I heard horses again. I recognized the voice outside, but I still didn’t move. I might have just stayed in there forever, but when I heard a certain word uttered…well, I knew I should come out. It was our family’s secret word, I guess you would say. When I heard it, I knew it was safe to come out again.”
“Lord Sawyer’s head was sticking through the carriage door. He saw me as I climbed out, thanked God that I stilled lived, and then told me to stay right where I was. I kept asking for my mother—asking where she was, but he wouldn’t tell me. The next day, they finally told me my parents were both dead. It was years before I found out the rest—what they had done to her.”
I knew what he was going to say before he finally let the words escape his mouth.
“Father had been killed by sword. They told me he died quickly. But my mother…she…she had been…brutalized repeatedly before they beat her to death. She was raped and murdered by our most trusted servants while I was hiding inside the bench in the carriage. They were killed by those I had admired the most. By the time Ida and the rest of the household were retrieved and brought to Sawyer, Edgar’s army had already begun to seize Sterling lands. He could not lay claim to the castle because I still lived, and the Church wouldn’t allow it—but all the other outlying areas—Sterling Village, Wynton, Eagle, Yeager—they all fell into Hadebrand’s hands.”
Branford stared silently at his hands for several minutes. I didn’t know what I should do or say, and I was afraid to make a move.
“I don’t allow servants in these rooms on any kind of regular basis,” Branford finally said. “Ramona is allowed in here sometimes because Ida says the place will be filthy if I don’t let her. Ramona was raised here in the castle. She’s never even been off the grounds, so I let her in to clean on occasion. I validate the loyalty of every guard in our employ—most of whom come from far away, and I have hand-picked. No one who comes here asking for a job inside the castle gets one. I can’t trust that person. He could have been sent by Edgar. If even one conspirator maneuvered his way into the castle, we would all be in danger.”
I dropped my eyes from him and contemplated his words as I twisted the fingers of my hands around themselves. To be so young and exposed to such a thing was unthinkable to me. Even if it had not been his parents, he certainly would have been scarred. I could not imagine listening to the sounds of such violence and being unable to do anything about it. And then to know those that those who were deemed trustworthy were the cause…the idea was unfathomable.
“Well,” Branford said with a sigh, “that’s why I behaved the way I did last night. My family was betrayed by those closest to us, and now I find it nearly impossible to trust anyone. If I suspect betrayal, I make sure there is no way it can hurt my family. That’s why I was so angry at the carriage driver when we first arrived. It’s why I reacted the way I did last night, and it’s why I want my cousins strung up by their necks until they’re dead.”
I flinched at his words. What Lady Kimberly and Lady Nelle had done was horrible, but for Branford to speak of ending their lives so easily was frightening.
“But they are part of your family,” I said quietly.
“Not any longer,” he replied. Branford ran both of his hands through his hair. “Kimberly has had her embarrassing little tirades before but nothing like this. She must think my mother’s wishes will protect her from anything she does. Not anymore.”
“You thought our carriage driver was a traitor, too?”
“He may be,” Branford said. He dropped his hands and looked back out the window, but I didn’t think he could see anything but sky from his angle. “I know I can seem ruthless, but I do have my reasons. Four times we have confirmed spies here in Silverhelm though we could not prove they came from Hadebrand. Two had managed to weasel their way into our outer guard while the others were posing as merchants. They never actually got inside the castle, but there are those out there who want to bring the Sterling family down, just as they did the Monroes—my mother’s family. They were all but wiped out, and her family lands were taken, but I will not allow that to happen to the Sterlings. I won’t allow that to happen to Silverhelm.”
Branford turned back and finally looked at me again.
“I don’t tolerate any disloyalty, Alexandra,” he said. “Perhaps there had been signs of it in the guards who killed my parents, and perhaps the signs were ignored because the guards were considered friends. I won’t make the same mistake. In keeping that pledge, I have been known to…to overreact.”
“I would not betray you, Branford,” I said quietly.
“I don’t think you would, my wife,” Branford said, but his tone was so melancholy, I wasn’t sure if I could trust his words. “That is why I chose a wife in the manner I did—randomly and without any way for someone to predict. It’s just…I never really know. No one can know with absolute certainty, can they? Unless you are able to read a person’s thoughts, you can never know for sure.”