“I didn’t think,” Branford continued, stammering somewhat. “I didn’t know…I should have known, but I didn’t think about you…about marriage. I thought only of the concept, not what you would need from me or what I should do for you. I didn’t consider you as a woman…as a person. I only thought of a wife as someone who would bea
r my children and be in my presence when it seemed necessary.”
He took in a long breath.
“I have never done this before, Alexandra,” Branford said. “And in my ignorance, I have failed you completely. I have failed to protect you, to teach you, or even to let you have the opportunity to teach me. I have barely spoken to you about anything other than…well…other than our nights together. Though it seemed important at the time, I can see now I was quite negligent in matters most paramount.”
“Alexandra, my wife—I don’t know if you can forgive me for my actions against you tonight. I acted without soundness of thought and obviously scared you terribly. I don’t ever wish to frighten you again, and I will spend the rest of my days making it up to you if you will allow me. I do not deserve your forgiveness, but I will ask for it anyway. If you find you…cannot bear to stay with me, I will still care for you. I will not return you to Hadebrand, but I will take you far from here where your life with me would be unknown, and I would make sure you did not suffer in any way. You do not have to remain my wife if you no longer wish to be. You have choices, Alexandra.”
“Choices,” I said softly, considering the strange word and what it was supposed to mean. “No, I don’t think I do.”
“Of course you do, Alexandra.” Branford eyes tightened as he looked at me. “As I said, if you do not wish to stay here as my wife, I will take you somewhere else.”
“Where?”
“Anywhere you like.”
“I have never been anywhere but here and Hadebrand. I would not know anyone, and I would have no idea what to do so far away. It would be worse than…” I stopped, for the words that nearly escaped my mouth would have been very unfortunate. “No, Branford. I don’t believe I have had any choices since you laid eyes on me in the arena.”
For several seconds, Branford looked into my eyes as he seemed to slowly understand what I was saying to him. When I could no longer bear it, I broke his gaze. His hands gripped my fingers slightly.
“You can stay here in the castle, then,” he said softly. “I thought it would be too difficult for you, but if you wish to stay and not be my wife, I will make sure you are…cared for properly.”
“Is that what you want?” I asked, my voice breaking on the last word.
“No, Alexandra,” Branford said as he shook his head. “I want you to be my wife. If you will consent to stay with me, I swear I will do better by you. I can’t promise perfection because I am far from perfect, as you already know, but I swear to do better. I will be a proper husband to you if you will help me understand what that means. I thought I understood before, but I know now I did not.”
“But…what must everyone think of me now?” I whispered.
“They will know who is responsible, Alexandra,” Branford said, his voice once again holding the hard edge of his anger.
“My word over theirs?” I huffed and turned, pulling my hands from his. Branford rose from his kneeling stance, but the movement was slow and uncertain. “No one will believe me.”
“I will,” Branford said quietly. “Will you tell me? Will you tell me what they did to you?”
My mouth dropped open. Speak against nobles? How could I even consider such a thing? But Branford was asking me a direct question, which I could hardly refuse to answer. The consequences would have been equally dire. Was this another “choice” in his eyes? Taking a deep breath, I resolved to do as he asked.
“They said they were here to help me dress,” I told him, feeling all the more foolish. “They said everyone would be dressed the same, and…”
My voice trailed off. I didn’t know what to tell him. The words they said to me? How they wore the same dresses and changed later? Should I tell him about how she referred to him without his title?
“What happened?” Branford prompted.
“They came to the door,” I answered. “I thought it was Ida, but they were there instead.”
“Who, Alexandra? Say their names to me.”
“Lady Kimberly and Lady Nelle,” I finally mumbled. I felt as though I was making the most heinous accusation, and part of me wanted to curl up and protect myself from the coming blow. Commoners did not accuse the court of any misconduct. It would be a death sentence.
“What did you do?”
“I didn't want her in our room,” I said quietly. “I thought you had...been with her. I didn't want her here.”
“Go on,” Branford said, and I did not miss his lack of denial.
“They had this dress…” I said. I paused and sniffed, trying to hold back tears caused by the repulsive frock that I still wore. “Can I please take it off now?”
“Of course, Alexandra.” Branford huffed through his nose. “I’m sorry—I should have thought about that. Please, let me help you.”