Out of the corner of my eye, I see a bright golden glow. As I walk back to the cabin door, I stare at the horizon as the gold slowly changes to green, and lights streaks across the sky.
“Hey, Seri!” I call out. “Come back out here!”
“What is it?” Seri asks as she pokes her head out the door.
“Look.” I point north and watch Seri’s expression as she stares up into the sky.
“Is that the northern lights?”
“Yep.”
“Oh my God.” She takes a few steps out the door. “You can really see the lights move!”
“It’s a good, clear night,” I tell her. “We could get quite a show.”
As Seri stares at the sky with her mouth open, I head back inside and grab the bearskin rug. I lay it on top of the snow, and Seri and I sit down to watch as the lights change from green to pink, dancing across the sky.
“Beautiful, isn’t it?” I pull her closer to me and press my lips to her temple.
“Fucking gorgeous.”
I glance at her eyes and bright smile. Though Seri curses more often than she used to, it still catches me off guard, but there’s no sign of Iris in her expression. Still, I wonder if there isn’t something left of her, buried deep down.
I miss Iris sometimes—Netti, too. Then I think about how strange it is to mourn for someone who didn’t truly, physically die. In fact, the physical form is sitting right next to me, smiling up at the horizon and pressing her body against mine. The scar on her shoulder isn’t bad at all, especially considering the jagged edge of the hunting knife. Going to the clinic had been risky, but I couldn’t take a chance on Seri’s well-being.
No one knows what happened out here but Seri and me. I haven’t even told Margot about it—only that he came here and eventually left, never to be seen again. She gave me quite a skeptical look, but she didn’t press for more information.
“This is really amazing,” Seri says.
“I’m glad you decided to stay with me before you saw it,” I tell her.
“Why is that?”
“Otherwise, I’d assume you’d just want to stay for the lights. You know, there are people who travel all over the world just for the chance to see this. Last year, the lights lasted for a full week, and I had the perfect view right there on the porch.”
“How do they last for a whole week?”
“Do I look like a fucking meteorologist?”
Seri laughs. I grin as I grip her hand, but my grin fades.
“You do still want to stay?” I ask her. “I mean, you aren’t reconsidering living here, right?”
“Of course I want to stay.” Seri looks at me quizzically. “Why would I leave?”
“I don’t know.” I shrug. At this point, I can’t imagine Seri not being here, and the idea that she could leave me is troubling. Though I’m used to living with Seri, I still suck when it comes to expressing myself. “It’s cold. The food isn’t great, and you only have me for company.”
“We have Solo, too.” Seri looks back at the sky. “And don’t forget, you promised to take me to that Hand Game tournament next week.”
“I haven’t forgotten.”
I’m not sure if I’m looking forward to introducing Seri to everyone in the community. People are going to recognize her from Kyle’s pictures and ask questions. They’re going to want to know who she is and why that guy was t
rying to find her. As Margot has said, small communities like to know everything about everyone’s business. They’ve learned to leave me be, but I’m not sure how Seri will fare.
At least I won’t have to worry about Iris getting into another verbal sparring match with Margot. Well, I hope not. I can’t be positive, but sometimes I see this glint in Seri’s eye, and I think Iris isn’t completely gone.
Maybe she isn’t. Maybe Iris and Netti are still in there, hidden deep inside. Seri says they are not, but how can I ever know for sure? I’m no more a psychiatrist than I am a meteorologist, and I don’t have many answers. One thing is for sure—I love the woman sitting next to me just how she is, as a single or with the others. I no longer think in terms of what’s real and what isn’t. I’m not sure that it matters. I’m happy. Seri is happy. Who cares about the rest?