Chapter Nineteen
She felt like an intruder entering the office. Elizabeth hesitated, called herself a fool, and crossed the threshold. Book work needed to be done. Just because Asa had been much more eager to stay in bed since that afternoon two days ago, didn’t mean the rest of their problems had disappeared. As depressing as it would be, she needed to see exactly where the ranch was financially. And that meant she had to not only step one foot past the door, she had to go all the way into the room, seat herself at the desk, and finish what needed to be done.
As she opened the drapes on her way to the desk, she looked around. It was distinctly male terrain. It was all so familiar; the dark paneling, the ink-splattered leather blotter, the heavy desk, the big chair stationed so impressively behind it. First her father’s and now her husband’s, the study was a room designed to reflect power. She waited for the feeling of suffocation to swamp her as it usually did. She stared at the desk a good two minutes before she realized it wasn’t happening and why.
For the first time since she could remember, she didn’t see, in her mind, her father sitting in that big chair, a frown on his face, eager to hand out the list of today’s failures. Instead, she saw Asa’s image, half-smiling, patiently waiting while she stumbled through an explanation. Never rushing, never hurrying, simply waiting her out. The man was truly a magician. She didn’t think anyone could dispel her unease with this room, but he seemed to have done it.
She trailed her fingers over the desk. It was tan, smoothed by age and hard. Just like Asa. As she flipped open the ledger, she looked around the room with new eyes. Instead of seeing the past, she saw its potential. With some redecorating, the office could actually be a pleasant place. Maybe even pleasant enough that she’d consider seducing her husband here. Creating some nice memories would go a long way to shedding the old.
She shook her head over her licentious thoughts. She was turning into a scandal all right. She settled into the big wing-backed chair behind the desk. She closed her eyes and breathed in the scents of leather, man and ink.
She flipped open the ledger on the desk and ran her fingers down the entries. She was so lost in thought, she didn’t immediately recognize what she saw. When she did, she saw red. Not only was her husband the sexiest man in the territory, he was also one of the most conniving sons of a bitch she’d ever met.
A squeak of the wood floor jerked her eyes from the books. Asa stood in the door. Pale but resigned.
“You son of a bitch,” she said.
“You know?”
“Were you ever planning on telling me?”
“Not if I could help it,” he admitted.
“You lied to me.” She thought the pain would split her open like a ripe melon.
“I never lied to you.”
“You didn’t tell me we’re going to lose the ranch.”
“We’re not losing the ranch.”
“You didn’t tell me the bank didn’t extend our note.”
“I didn’t want to worry you.”
She sat as still as stone, feeling like she’d break apart inside. “You didn’t trust me.”
“Dammit, Elizabeth, you knew we were close to bankruptcy. That’s why you married me.”
“You said we were partners.”
“We are.”
“No, we’re not.” They could never be equals if he could keep something like this from her. “We’re nothing more than a man and his paramour.”
“If you don’t want your mouth washed out with soap, you’d better be watching your language.”
She looked at him. God, did he think he could scare her now? “Don’t you try and threaten me.”
“I never make threats.”
“No,” she agreed. “You don’t need to. You just spin fairy tales out of half-truths, and then, when you’re caught, you claim you never lied.” She stood slowly. Carefully. Not much of her dignity remained, but she was going to hold onto what she had left. She crossed the room until she was only two feet away from him. She tilted her head back until she could look into his eyes. Eyes that were storm gray, reflecting a determination she felt pulsing in her own veins.
“You had me,” she told him. “You had me cold. I believed everything you said and did. I thought you liked me as I am. I thought—God help me for my stupidity— that you respected me.” A hoarse laugh escaped before she could smother it. “My father was right. I am a fool.”
“Your father didn’t know squat.”
“He knew enough to know that a man would use my weakness against me.”
Asa crossed his arms over his chest. His splayed feet and broad shoulders blocked the doorway. His message was as clear as the anger on his face. She wasn’t going anywhere until he had his say. She settled her weight evenly between her feet and forced her arms to relax at her side. Two could play this game.