Remembering the conversation he’d had with Kate, Ash shifted Jules in his arms so he could see her face. “Why? You felt guilty about Meg, or you were grateful that I’d caught Clark?”
“Both reasons and a million more.”
“First, you have no reason to feel guilty about Meg. We’ve already established that Clark enjoyed killing.”
“But if I—”
“You were a traumatized young woman who’d lost her parents in a horrific way and had been brutalized and tortured for weeks. I do not blame you. There is no sane person in this world who would ever blame you.”
“Intellectually, I know that, but there’s still the what-if factor.”
“What-ifs are bullshit. It’s the what’s next that matters. You turned your life into something remarkable.”
She pressed a palm to his face in a gentle caress. “Thank you, Ash.”
He kissed her forehead. “Kate told me you were grateful that I captured your boogeyman.”
“I was…I am.”
“I’m no hero, Jules. I’m just a man who does what he has to do.”
“Forgive me if I disagree.”
“This thing between us…it can’t survive if you put me on some kind of pedestal. I’m about as far from perfect as a man c
an get.”
Understanding dawned in her eyes, but instead of denying his words, she smiled her delight and said, “You’re as stubborn as a whole team of mules, you hog the bedcovers at night, you snore like a locomotive, you desperately need a haircut. And you like snow and cold weather way too much.”
He laughed, but stopped when she placed her hand over his heart and said softly, “And you have the heart of a lion and the soul of a warrior. I love your strength, your courage, your determination. I love that you want to right wrongs. I don’t see you as perfect…I just see you as you are.”
Unable to speak for the lump in his throat, Ash kissed her, letting his lips speak for him. How life had brought them together was still a mystery. Linked by nightmares he wouldn’t wish on anyone, they’d still found each other. If that wasn’t a modern-day miracle, he didn’t know what was.
She pulled away from his kiss and said, “So what now?”
“We keep digging.”
“I have a suggestion.”
“Oh yeah? Then I’m all ears.”
“I’m going to follow her orders. I’m going to kill Asher Drake.”
Chapter Forty-Two
OZ Headquarters
Jules stood in front of the people she’d come to know and trust. These people risked their lives every single day for people who would never know they even existed. They worked hard, felt deeply, and trusted few. She had been the recipient of that rare trust, but it had been broken. She had to fix what she’d damaged.
Ash had offered to stand with her, had even offered to explain for her. She couldn’t allow that. This was on her. If even one of them couldn’t get past the betrayal, she’d already decided she would bow out. The OZ team worked so seamlessly together because of the mutual trust and respect they had for one another. If that was irreparably damaged, then she owed it to the team to leave.
She and Ash had discussed this beforehand. They both knew what could happen. But there was one thing they had assured each other—she would still have Ash, and he would still have Jules. Nothing was going to keep them apart. That would be more than enough for her.
Her eyes met his, and the love, compassion, and acceptance she saw in them gave her the courage to begin.
Jules took in a bracing breath. They knew the basic facts of why she’d lied and deceived them. Now they needed to know the rest.
“First, I want to apologize for the deception. I believed, still believe, I was doing the right thing. Protecting Ash and OZ, all of you, was my primary goal. Turner was not going to stop. We knew she had aspirations beyond her Senate seat, which meant she would want to rid herself of any threat against those goals. Ash has mercilessly pursued her, seeking answers.