“Touch me,” I plead, biting his lip.
He pulls back, his eyes lighting up with a yearning fire as he studies me. He’s surprised I’m so willing right now. I saw it in the moment his eyebrows raised ever so slightly.
But rather than give in to what we both want, his grip tightens around my neck again, pulling my lips from his.
“You know I can’t just let you get away with what you did to Vivian,” he says almost apologetically. “They’ll never let me.”
“So…what? You’re just their puppet?” I tease defiantly, expecting a swift reprimand for challenging him.
The way he stills suddenly frightens me. I can see a new touch of humanity in him. One that really does feel sorry for me and all he’s done to me. Could it be that none of this is Emmett’s choosing? Is he just caught up in the game like I am and doing what he’s told?
His hand loosens from my neck, falling limp to his side as he steps back in surrender, still saying nothing.
My mind flashes with all that he’s done. The physical and emotional abuse. And all at once I remember there’s no way he’s just an Elite pawn. He is one of them through and through. And even if part of him feels regret now, he was completely in charge all the times before when he caused me harm.
And it all served the exact purpose it was intended to…to leave me so fucked up and desperate for anything that I would willingly give myself over to him. Admit to the things he makes my body feel, no matter how much it repulses me.
I’m overwhelmed with it all. I can’t believe this sad puppy act he’s putting on all of a sudden, and I don’t want to fall for it. Unable to fight the single tear spilling down the side of my face, I push past him and run away down the hall as fast as I can.
I don’t stop until I’m halfway to my car. Fuck this day. Fuck school. The way the teachers have been acting I’m not even entirely sure they’re counting my attendance or grades anyway. I might as well give up and go home.
But once I reach my car door, I still don’t stop. Running feels too good right now. It’s what I need. I keep barreling forward, right past my car, all the way to my house. I’ll figure out the rest later. Right now I just need to run.
The cold sting of air bursts in my lungs as I go, burning with tears that I try to fight back as hard as I can. Every time I feel the pulse of his lingering touch, I run faster and harder. Hoping the swift wind against my body will blow it all away.
By the time I collapse on my bed in my room, all I can feel is the need for his warmth against me again. The fantasy of him falling on top of me in my bed is so palpable that I almost reach for my phone to message him. Beg him to come finish what he started.
I swear I hear a drum beating in my ears, but I quickly realize it’s just the steady severity of my own heart. Pounding through me as the most tangible images of Emmett flash through my mind. I can see exactly what he would look like right here right now…towering above me in this light as he takes off his shirt.
I roll into my hands, covering my eyes and wishing it would all go away. Somehow my desperate need to punish Vivian and to get some kind of attention rapidly crumbled into a completely unhindered lustful need for Emmett. More strong than I have ever felt before.
The way he sounded so sorry… It reminds me of how he sounded before I got into his car. I remember now that’s why I followed him in the first place. He sounded so sincere. So normal. Maybe even kind.
It was the same boy I met at that track meet before coming here. Maybe I don’t have to beat myself up so much, or maybe I’m just grasping at straws. But I have seen small glimpses of a decent human being in him. Ever so brief moments when he doesn’t seem demented or sadistic. And each new taste of it seems to cause my longing for him to erupt. It clouds my judgment. Makes me do everything I swore I couldn’t.
It makes me surrender completely to him.
Completely exhausted, I close my eyes and hope to dream of something…anything else.
* * *
My brush with Emmett was exactly what I needed to set my head straight in a weird way, because now I am more than happy to embrace my isolation. I’m resting in it like a shroud.
I gladly walk alone and eat alone yet again when I return to the lunchroom. But it seems now that I want the isolation, they’re ready to take it away again. Because I can see the Elite pack marching right toward me in the corner of my eye. I don’t look at them, staring down at the sandwich in my hands instead, hoping they will just walk right past.
And at first, they do. But then Emmett’s hands reach around and spread out on the table before me, his chest leaning into mine with his lips next to my ear. Reawakening every spark I felt the day before and had worked so hard to erase. Only now, Vivian is just a few feet away, watching our every move.
“Get up and come with us,” he demands with the best growl he can muster, but I can still hear the lingering pity and reluctance. I tell myself he doesn’t want to be doing this. He said he couldn’t let me get away with it…that they’d never let him.
Before I can protest, his hand grips my arm and lifts me to my feet with a subtle jerk. Just enough to let me know I don’t have a choice without outright manhandling me in front of the entire cafeteria. My sandwich drops to my tray and before I can say or do anything else, I’m being led back to the same classroom he and I took refuge in just the day before.
He pushes me inside as the rest of them file in behind him. I catch one last subtle “I’m sorry” look from him in my direction before he turns to lock the door and close the blinds. Instinctively, I start stepping back away from them, quickly meeting the edge of a table that stops me from moving any further.
I lean back to brace myself and consider attempting to dart away between the table and chairs, but they’re surrounding me like a pack of hungry dogs. I know it’s no use. Trey and Vincent surround me on either side, each grabbing an arm and carrying me to the wall.
The memories of Emmett pinning me to this wall almost make me immune to my fear of whatever is about to happen. I glance over to him, but before our eyes can meet, he quickly looks away. By the time I look back up, Vivian is storming toward me.
I brace myself for a revenge slap and am instead met with the blow of her fist, shooting straight into my nose and up between my eyes with streams of tears. Followed by a warm trickle of blood from my nostrils.