I wasn’t ready for this. I wasn’t ready for another fight tonight. Another letdown. Another emotional meltdown moment. It would be real once he
saw. Once he knew. Once he acknowledged. And after tonight, I wasn’t ready for it. Surprises were supposed to be picture-perfect. They were supposed to happen to happy couples with their lives pieced together in just the right fashion. And tonight wasn’t one of those nights.
I needed more time.
Tomorrow. After we move tomorrow will be the perfect time.
I could even give it to him in the room I wanted to have as the nursery. Yes, that’s it. I could take him down the hallway, stand him in the middle of that smaller room at the back of the house, and give him the gift then. In the afterglow of moving seemed like the perfect time. My heart was now set on it.
I just had to get that damn present out of his grip.
“Rae? You okay?”
I lunged for him. “Give me that.”
He held the gift over his head. “Uh-uh-uh! No takesies backsies.”
I jumped for it. “Don’t. Seriously. You weren’t supposed to see--”
“Oh, a present I wasn’t supposed to get right now. I’m even more intrigued.”
“Just give it back. Come on. Please?”
I jumped for it again, but he held it higher. And higher. Until I was practically climbing his body to try and get to it. He laughed as I clung to him, trying not to fall onto my ass. But when my fingertips scraped the bottom of the bag, he moved it behind his back.
Throwing me off balance.
“Clint!”
“Shit, Rae!”
We fell to the bathroom floor and I groaned in pain. I came down against my funny-bone and felt that shivering pain shoot up my arm. Tears rushed my eyes. I felt Clint’s hands all over me as he tried to help me sit up. But, with his hands on me, they weren’t on that present.
Now, where the hell is it?
“Rae, are you all right?”
I slapped his touch away. “I’m fine. Will you give me that gift now?”
“What’s so bad about it? I don’t get it.”
“Will you just, for once tonight, do as I’m asking you to do!?”
Even I didn’t realize how loudly I had spoken until my voice echoed off the bathroom walls. I pushed myself upright and sighed as I leaned heavily against the steady surface. I pressed the heels of my hands into my eyes. I didn’t want to cry. I couldn't cry. If I cried, I’d never get out of this. I’d never have a second chance to make this the perfect moment it deserved.
The perfect moment our child deserved.
“Is this a joke?” he asked.
I shook my head. “No, it’s not. I just want to give that to you at the right time. And I thought it might be tonight, but--”
“We’re having a baby?”
His words snapped my eyes open and all time seemed to freeze over. Clint sat on the other end of the bathroom, with his back against the tub. His eyes were cast down into the yellow and white bag, destroying my vision of this entire announcement. I let a tear slip down my cheek. I drew in ragged breaths as he slowly reached inside. He pulled out the small pair of shoes and studied them, turning them over so his eyes could process what he was seeing.
“Is this real?” he asked.
His eyes met mine, but I couldn't move. I barely knew how to breathe.