Mike snickered. “Bullshit.”
“Is it really, though?”
“You know damn good and well that girl isn’t better off without you. If anything, you’ve improved her quality of life. If anything, you’ve shown her what love is in a world that has chewed her up and spit her out time and time again.”
“It’s not bullshit and you know it. I mean, the distance between us? The lack of passion? Of dates? Of sex? Of intimacy? The times where she’s shut me out? Shut you out? Refused to talk to Allison, all of a sudden? I know you’ve heard the stories. I know you’ve experienced it. Do you really mean to tell me--?”
“Clint, she’s been pushing all of us away. It’s not just you.”
“Then what the fuck am I supposed to do, Mike? Follow her here? Work a dead-end job because I need to pay rent and never get my foot in the door anywhere to make a difference while she studies her ass off, makes new friends, and builds a new life? A life she deserves?”
“What the fuck is so wrong with that?”
I growled. “I don’t--”
The dark hole in my chest clenched together as I chewed on my words.
“I don’t think I fit in her future anymore, Mike.”
His hand came down onto my shoulder. “I don’t know what I’d do in your position, man. But I do know that if something was wrong with Allison--no matter how big--I’d start by talking with her. That’s for sure.”
I shook my head. “Do you want me to recount the amount of times I’ve tried talking with Rae this summer? About anything serious, other than the shit her mother’s pulling on her right now?”
“Well, the difference now is that she’s actually said something that needs to be addressed. She’s showing her cards, even if it took pot and booze to show them. Now you have something that needs to be discussed. Not just a hint. Not just a feeling. Not just a theory. Something concrete.”
“What if she shrugs it off and tells me it was just her being intoxicated?”
Mike sighed. “Then you need to cut your losses.”
“And you believe that.”
“Yeah. I do. Look, I love Rae. She’s my best friend. But if she’s really not willing to address what happened last night, at all, then you need to cut your losses for you. You’ve been miserable this whole summer. A summer where we all should be happy and looking toward the future. Instead, you’ve been stuck up Rae’s ass trying to make her smile without her giving you any feedback. At all.”
I grimaced. “Yeah. I know.”
He squeezed my shoulder. “Go over and talk to her. Open up the conversation. Even go so far as to tell her that she owes you one after last night. Then, depending on how she reacts, you know where to go from there.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose. “Is that breakfast shit here yet?”
“Yep. Came just as I got out of the shower.”
“Why the hell did I not hear the door?”
He chuckled bitterly. “Probably because you’ve got some shit on your mind. Come on. Coffee, water, and Tylenol. Lots of it. Let’s get you feeling better before you head over there.”
I sighed. “Yeah. Sure. Sounds like a plan.”
I stood from the chair and it became easier to move. Just that small conversation with Mike had lifted some of the weight off my shoulders. Now that I had a direction to head in that someone agreed with me on, I felt a little more confident going into this conversation. Rae and I had to talk. That much was for sure. But I wasn’t sure if she was willing to.
I wasn’t sure what I’d do if she didn’t.
“This coffee smells fantastic,” I murmured.
Mike popped open a pill bottle. “We’re going straight to four. Don’t pass Go, don’t do shit with your life until you take these.”
I held out my hand. “Thanks, man. I really appreciate this.”
“Of course. You’d be doing the same thing for me if the roles were reversed, and I know it.”