“I’m not being a pussy.”
“Yes, you are. You don’t want to piss Rae off so close to all of us splitting, so you’re hoping that if you ignore it the issue is going to go away. But you know that isn’t how it works.”
I sighed. “Yeah. I know.”
“So boss up and bring up the conversation. You don’t have to do it today. But you need to do it soon. Rae needs a firm plan of action on your end in order to work through what she’s going to do on her end.”
“And what if I need the same from her?”
“That’s why you sit down and fucking talk about it, dude.”
He sat back down in his seat as the song on the radio changed over again. As some Van Halen ballad filled the SUV, I let my eyes fall closed. While most of me was thankful I didn’t have to put up with school anymore, part of me was disappointed. Even if, by some miracle, I wanted to go to school, I didn’t have the option. Decisions I made in high school ruined my odds for that sort of thing. And Rae hadn’t been happy with me when I decided not to apply.
In fact, it sparked a fight between us we still hadn’t recovered from.
And that damn fight was four months ago.
My best bet at this point was to find a job with room for growth. With room for me to pull a decent-enough salary that helped support a lifestyle in this expensive-ass state. Otherwise, I’d fall behind. I’d forever be destined to scrape by with nothing but scraps underneath the table for hard labor twelve hours a day. Which was a life I didn’t want for myself. I wanted to prosper. I wanted to be proud of myself. I wanted to be able to provide Rae with what she needed instead of her constantly worrying about things and checking her bank account and hiding things from me like she’d been these past few weeks.
I felt like I was on the verge of losing her. Losing Rae. Losing the love of my life.
And I had to find a lifestyle that made sure that didn’t happen.
3
Raelynn
I looked beyond Allison’s shoulder after much too long of a silence. And when I saw Clint emerge from the throng of people pushing their way to the beach, I sat up.
“Oh, thank fuck.”
Allison turned around. “What? What is it?”
Michael waved and Clint started jogging for us. I smiled as I stood up, steadying myself on my rollerblades. He picked me up and swung me around, peppering my cheeks with kisses. I smiled as Michael and Allison embraced, watching him dip her back for a deep, passionate kiss.
Then Clint did the same to me, making me giggle as his tongue slipped across the roof of my mouth.
It felt so good, having him there. In my arms. Wrapped up in me after so many tense nights together. Things hadn’t gone according to any plan after prom. And it was the little things keeping us all hinged right now. We all knew it, though none of us wanted to talk about it. It was disappointing when Clint announced that, after all the hard work we all put in, he wasn’t going to apply for college. Even with a 2.9 GPA, I knew he stood a chance. Especially with his senior grades showing how he finally applied himself, and how it paid off.
But, no matter what I said, I couldn't convince him to apply for school.
Much less for the school I got accepted to.
“Mmm, I don’t know about you, gorgeous. But I’m ready for ice cream.”
I giggled. “Why are you so sweaty?”
Allison snickered. “I take it you haven’t gotten your air fixed yet?”
Michael scoffed. “Fine. Fine. Blame the terrible traffic on me. It wouldn’t have been that bad in my car had we not been stuck in it for an hour.”
I furrowed my brow. “What in the world made traffic stop like that? You guys were just at Michael’s right?”
Clint kissed my forehead. “Doesn’t matter. We’re here now. What would you like to have?”
Allison and I placed our orders, then the guys headed inside. I sat down, making enough room for Clint as I scooted over. I kept my eyes on him as they walked inside. As they ventured up to the counter. As they ordered our milkshakes. I didn’t want an ice cream cone that would melt all over my hand before I could get the damn thing eaten. I had watched Clint struggle with one too many of them over the course of this summer.
And yet, he didn’t seem to learn.