I barked with laughter. “I wish. Maybe one day. Then I can get that cabin in the field with the lake and a great big bedroom to--”
The girl in the bikini--what was her name again?--snuggled tightly against me.
“--to what, handsome?”
I sighed. “To make love to the woman I love. Forever and ever. Until she smiles and all her worries fade away. That’s all I want. For my woman to be happy. With me. While we’re both succeeding. But what if she doesn’t want that?”
She leaned her head on my shoulder. “Oh, you are just so hurt and wounded, you know that? Sitting here, looking all pathetic.”
“Yeah, maybe that’s it. Maybe I’ve become too soft for her. Maybe I need to man up. Buck up. Take the reins back for a little while. Maybe that’s the issue. She feels like the man in this relationship and not the woman.”
She snickered. “You really are something, you know that? I think I know just how to heal you, too.”
My eyes widened as her hand fell against my cock. I jumped as she got up, crawling into my lap.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I’ve got a girl--”
She giggled. “Yeah, don’t worry. They all do, until they don’t.”
Her lips leaned into mine and I dodged her. Though my movements were slow. She ground her ass into my pelvis and I practically tried pushing her off me. Why the hell were my movements not coordinated enough?
“Like it a bit rough, huh?”
She reached for my wrists and pinned the down.
“What the--? Get off me. Hey!”
“Mmm, you really are strong, huh?”
“What the fuck is going on!?”
The guy’s voice boomed over my head and the girl shrieked. Fucking hell, what in Satan’s hell was her name? She quickly stood from my lap and I rolled off the porch swing, crawling on all fours to try and get away. The world tilted around me again. I felt something grip the back of my shirt before hoisting me up. I stumbled to get on my feet as the guy turned me around, then pinned me to the porch column.
“What the fuck are you doing with my girlfriend?”
I held my hands up. “We were just talking and she came on to me.”
His nostrils flared. “Bullshit.”
“I-I-I--I’m serious. I’m here with my girlfriend, too. Not the best night. But we’re getting through it.”
“Yeah, by fucking around with my girl.”
He tossed me to the porch and people started gathering around. I didn’t want to cause any more of a scene at this damn party. Not with Rae walking about high as a kite somewhere. I got up and tried to get off the porch, but no one let me move. They crowded around us, blocking my only two exits. And while I could have jumped off the porch, every time I looked over the edge it felt like I was looking into the darkness.
I felt like I was on that damn bridge again, with that car chasing me.
I swallowed hard. My forehead started sweating. The more I looked over the edge, the more my hands shook. Flashes of that night came barreling back. The sound of the horn. The screeching of the tires. I felt myself teetering. My heart sank to my toes. I blinked a few times to try and clear the hazy fog from my vision. Only to feel something dripping down my cheek.
“Are you fucking crying!?”
“Maybe you should man up.”
“Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!”
I felt his fist crack against my face and the world faded away. Red dripped down through my vision, and the only person I saw was my father. His sneering face. His gangly arms. I heard his laughter echoing inside my head.
You'll never be good enough.