He pulled my hands away from my face. “If anything, you’re lucky.”
I blinked. “Lucky?”
“Yeah. Lucky. I mean, think about it. Nothing’s set in stone yet. You have the luxury of a bit more time and the chance to make a different choice. You go, get some classes out of the way that transfer anywhere you need them to, and you get time away from your mother to really think this through about what you want for your life.”
I paused. “I--I guess, yeah.”
He chuckled, shaking his head. “You know, for a smart girl, you’re really dense sometimes.”
I shoved him playfully. “Dick.”
He held up his hands in innocence. “All right, all right. Maybe that was a bit mean. But look. Okay. Let’s see how you can figure out if this is what you want. I’m sure there’s a way.”
“I’m not so sure there is.”
“I mean, what about this road trip coming up? With your orientation, or whatever? Maybe you can talk to someone about sitting in on some English classes. Upper level ones. The ones you’d tackle once you got into your senior year. And maybe an education class. To get a feel for both of those worlds.”
“I’m not sure if they’d let me do that.”
“It doesn't hurt to ask. And you’re going to a school that’s fairly close. Maybe one of the teachers at the high school can put in a good word for you or something. I’m sure someone is networked in there. Cal State is a pretty big campus with a lot of faculty.”
I sighed. “But what if I can’t do that? What then?”
He shrugged. “In the meantime, do some digging to see what else might be out there for you. I can help, if you want. I’m kind of a pro at that now anyway.”
“Really? You’d help me with something like that?”
“Did you think I wouldn't?”
I guess my pause was long enough. Because Clint leaned forward with a determined look on his face. He cupped my cheek, forcing me to pay attention to him as his face fell stern. I’d never seen him like this. So guiding. So reassuring. So firm in what he was talking about.
The look suited him.
“Rae, whatever you need me to do, I’m here for you. I know that whatever you choose, you’re going to be brilliant in. All you have to do is figure out what that is. Figure out where your heart lies. Where your passion lies. And yes, that takes time. But you have time to figure it out. Your future hasn’t been decided yet. You have avenues. Many avenues. But you can’t find them until you start seeking them out. Sitting here and worrying about it isn’t going to make it any different. It’s only going to make it worse.”
I nodded. “You’re right.”
“In this particular instance, I know I’m right. What you need now is action. Movement forward. You’ve been stewing in an endless purgatory, waiting for some impending date. So put some motion in these long days. Make daily goals of what you'll find out, what you’ll accomplish, and what answer to what question you seek. Even if it’s only one question. It’s going to help. I mean, it helped me, at least.”
I sighed. “You’re amazing, you know that?”
He nodded. “I do. I also know we’ve knocked our french fries onto the floorboard of the car. They’re kind of useless now.”
I giggled. “You’re insane.”
“And you’re okay. At least, you’re going to be.”
“You think so?”
He kissed the tip of my nose. “I know so, Rae.”
I threw my arms around him and buried my face into his neck. He scooped me up, pulling me into his lap as I curled my knees up to my chest. He rocked me softly, kissing my forehead and murmuring how we’d all make it out okay in the long-run. That, at the end of the day, we both had each other. And with that, we could get through anything.
I could only hope he was right.
10
Clinton